Monday, October 31, 2005

The end of the story....

The end of this story is funnier if you know or just understand that Cambridge, MA is a labyrinth of one way streets, oblivious pedestrians and bikers, and cobblestone hell. The only way I've ever gotten to any specific location in Cambridge, in my 10+ years of living here is through pure magic. (And it was just dumb luck that I had those spells!)
So we got to the counter and did the silly notary thing. Then I asked the clerk, "Can we get divorce papers here?"
"No, you have to go to the Cambridge courthouse to get those," she responded.
"CAMBRIDGE??" I said incredulously. "I have to DRIVE to CAMBRIDGE? That's worse than the divorce."
She didn't seem to think it was funny.
But then, driving in Cambridge really is no laughing matter.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Things often are NOT as they seem

N lives on the third (and top) floor of our building. When he goes out to have a cigarette on his "terrace", he gets a birds eye's view of all the comings and goings and general business of the building. Most people don't tend to notice him up there, so he's seen some interesting things. Far too many of them involve people peeing in odd places. A lot of them involve couples. And even more of them are just the normal, boring things that people always do. These seem to be the ones that N likes the most, and goes to great lengths with his imagination to concoct inventive stories to explain the most routine activities.
He has stories to explain why my neighbor across the hall always looks up to the terrace above before he walks in the building. He has stories to explain a white woman's bi-racial daughter that, of course, involves her black neighbor. He even had decided, well before we met, that I must be "living off the government" because how else would a single mother be paying that rent, yada, yada, yada.
Most, if not all of his stories involve sketchy behavior. Cheating, stealing, stalking, etc... I often wonder if he just has a suspicious nature, or if he's making himself Mr. Suspicion with all of these gruesome crime shows, and now is starting to believe that people are always "up to something". But sometimes, if the story gets to absurd, I have to say something. As much as I hate squelching his over-active imagination, I have to tell him that the guy who looks up, is friends with the guy who lives above him, and they hang out a lot. He is not, I don't think, having an affair with the woman above me. At some point, I had to tell him that I earn all my own money. It's too bad, but things just are usually not what the seem.
For instance, about this time last year, Little's A's dad needed me to sign and notarize something with him. Something for his old 401k or something that meant nothing to me. So we took a trip to town hall, mentioned to each other that while we were there, we should see if we could get divorce papers (yes, we are divorce delinquents....very firmly separated....we just keep forgetting to tell the state!). Little A's dad and I get a long much better now that we're apart and there's no doubt in anyone's mind that that is how it was meant to be. We've probably had a friendlier separation than marriage.
We entered town hall, we both had a silent joke about some old guy wearing pink plaid shorts and long black socks at the onset of winter. We were chuckling on our way up the stairs when we encountered another old guy. When he saw us, he remarked, "Ah, you two look happy. You must be here to get married." We just looked at him. What could we say? If he only knew. If he only knew, that at one time, we had climbed those very stairs to get married, and now we were climbing them with divorce papers in mind.
It always has struck me as odd that this guy saw marriage coming for us. Yeah, we were laughing, but we weren't holding hands, or being at all affectionate with each other, yet for some reason, he thought it must be wedding time.
Who knows? Maybe he was just the new Justice of the Peace, trying to drum up business by offering marriage to random male/female combos. OR maybe he was just mis-seeing, like N does, like I do, like we all do. There's so much lost when you look with your eyes. Doesn't it make you wonder just what you actually know? We think that seeing is believing, and yet so much of our seeing is so inadequate that it leads us to completely false conclusions. It reminds of the this book I read in college, Only Don't Know. It's a good read, easy enough for even a flunky wanna-be buddhist like myself. But more than that. It's the only advice that seems to reflect reality.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Welp, after about 8 months of watching me knit, M informed me last night that I knit WRONG! WRONG!!!! Can you believe it? Apparently I was putting my yarn over clockwise, when it really should be going counter-clockwise (or anti-clockwise for all you crazy Aussies like M out there!). Who knew? I tell yuh! And so this was making my stitches politely cross their legs, when instead they should be wide open for all the world to see their yarny impropriety! I wonder if this will make me a sluttier knitter?
So, now, after many, many, many mis-knit stitches, I'm trying to re-train myself. It's like writing with your non-dominant hand! I mean....I actually have to concentrate now! Oye.
So, for all you "real" and "right" knitters out there, who have been cringing at pictures of crossed stitches, I do so apologize for having traumatized you. But DO ask, why didn't anyone tell me this before??? I can be taught (uh...sometimes!)! Spread 'em knitty......I got it now!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

It's Picture Day!

Ok, I FINALLY took a few pictures. So first, the long awaited pin-up queen:

And L's socks:

These are socks for either my brother or JDad that I cast on last night to watch "Raid on Entebbe".

This was unsolicited love left for me by Little A on our white board:

These are our Jack-o-Lanterns that we carved this past weekend. Little A used a stencil to make the cat and then drew the stars on mine for me to carve. We roasted pumpkin seeds and had cookies and tea!

These are shoes that N picked out and bought for me this weekend! Aren't they awesome? (Did I mention that I had a GREAT weekend?)

This is kitty, being a little orgasmic over the re-introduction of flannel sheets:

And FINALLY, who can guess what I'm going to do with this pile of junk???

Monday, October 24, 2005

J's Little Socks for his Big Feet!

This is the first sock pattern I've ever just made, no pattern, just going with the flow. They turned out so well, I thought that I would share the pattern. These are for a 12-month old baby with big chubby feet! (But not like freekishly chubby, I swear!)

I used Cervinia Amalfi, because I'm cheap, but you could try any fingering weight yarn. Soft Apple and Powder Blue. (And as a side note, I have to say that Cervinia Yarns are nice. They're cheap, and so you'd be skeptical, but the several that I've tried knit up beautifully. They currently have a mohair blend up that I might have to try since I've gotten such good results.)

Size 3 DPN's

CO on 36 Stitches with Soft Apple
Put 9 stitches on needle 1, 18 on needle 2, and 9 on needle 3
Join, being careful not to twist.
Work K2, P2 rib for 3 inches.
Put 18 stitches on needles 1 and 3 onto one needle to work heel.
Join Powder Blue (do not break off Green)

Row 1: P17, Wrap and Turn: Slip the stitch onto the other needle, pass the yarn over, slip the stitch back again, pass the yarn back over again and turn around (W&T)
Row 2: K16, W&T
Row 3: P15, W&T
Row 4: K14, W&T
Row 5: P13, W&T
Row 6: K12, W&T
Row 7: P11, W&T
Row 8: K10, W&T
Row 9: P9, W&T
Row 10: K8, W&T
Row 11: P7, W&T
Row 12: K6, W&T
Row 13: P5, W&T
Row 14: K4, W&T
Row 15: P5, W&T
Row 16: K6, W&T
Row 17: P7, W&T
Row 18: K8, W&T
Row 19: P9, W&T
Row 20: K10, W&T
Row 21: P11, W&T
Row 22: K12, W&T
Row 23: P13, W&T
Row 24: K14, W&T
Row 25: P15, W&T
Row 26: K16, W&T
Row 27: K17

Knit for 16 rounds or until foot is 1" shorter than desired length

Join blue and work these two rows 4 times each.
Round 1:
Needle 1, knit until last 3 stitches, k2tog, k1
Needle 2: K1, K2tog, knit until last 3 stitches, k2tog, k1
Needle 3: K1, K2tog, knit to end of needle
Round 2: Knit all stitiches

Put remaining 20 stitches on 2 needles and join with Kitchener Stitch.

What are they gonna rebel against???

Little A had her little friend B over on Friday afternoon. This is what we do almost EVERY Friday afternoon. I like it for Little A, but it gets a bit annoying for me at times. I don't really adore this particular friend of hers. She makes me feel old because I find it totally unbelievable how little respect this kid has. And the sad thing, is that I know she's not really THAT bad, no matter how much she irks me.
For a minute on Friday, I wondered if I was just resentful...that I had to be on super-behavior and basically perfection girl when I visited friends as a child. And if I hadn't been, there would be no more visits. End of story. I really wondered....maybe I'm just pissed that these kids don't even bother to try to stay in line when I had to walk the straight and narrow. But that's not what irks me so much. There's two things really.
The first is this complete lack of gratitude that I get from B. And her parents who are always willing to let B spend 4-5 hours at our house every Friday, but never invite Little A over. On Friday, B asked what we were having for dinner. I told them that I bought pizza at the store (yuh know...freezer pizza) and B informs me that she only likes pizza that you order. Hello? Too bad kid. Go home for dinner. And this is basically her outlook on life. That I'm (and anyone else) there to fulfill her demands. Little A is not like this. And I do NOT want her picking it up.
And then there is just the complete lack of respect. With the mouth already at seven years old. SEVEN?!? As far as I knew, I thought this mouthy behavior was for adolescence....easily blamed on hormonal insanity and trying to form one's identity. But already, at SEVEN? I mean, what are these kids going to do when the do reach adolescence? How are they going to define themselves if they are already so detached/disrespectful of their own parents? Are they going to get worse? Better? Will the transition be easier if they aren't under the thumb of anyone? Or will it lead to more extreme rebellion? I'd rather have Little A rebel and decide that she doesn't want to play tennis anymore, than to give her her own way now, all the time, and have her rebel by joining a girl gang.
The end of this story is that I'm terrified of adolescence. And a kid who is a brat at 7 makes me worry even more.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Casual Friday

Sometimes I think that I might take that term a little too seriously. I look like CRAP today. I left the house convinced that if I had to be out in public today, I'd look "sporty", like I'd just got out of the gym. Then when I got here, I looked down. I'm wearing my pajamas from last night, but their lounge pants so they are ok. I have a tank top, but no bra, so I covered up with a long sleeve zip-up thing. It's dirty. And I think stinky. And I just spilled coffee on it. I look like a bag lady today. But then, I really don't care. My horrid appearance didn't even illicit an odd look from the boss, much less any comment. Everyone here looks like crap.
So this week I've been a finishing maniac! Well, at least I feel like one! I finished glove #1 for N, and I think I should be able to finish glove #2 today. Same with the ugly socks for my crazy sister. I should stop calling them ugly. They really aren't. I just keep imagining them on my pale, hairy leg, and then they just look really manly. But crazy sister will like them. She only ever wears hiker boots, so they'll be perfect. Sport weight socks fly, man! It's fun!
Now, even though I pretend like I haven't started anything new, and I've been a model finisher all week, It's all a lie. ALLLLLLL lies! I started little socks for L's baby boy. He's got the chubbiest feet, I just couldn't resist making him some socks. And I started yet another variation for a magazine submission that I'm trying to get together. And well I obviously started N's gloves (3 times), and I started the "free bag", which you'll be thrilled to see, I'm sure. I also did a tiny little work-up of a hat I have an idea for, but to my credit, I did NOT make an entire hat. Or even cast one on. It was just a little experiment, I swear!
I PROMISE to take a multitude of pictures this weekend of all of these things.
I went to Thursday Night knitting last night for about an hour. There was a new lap-top man, but since he didn't take over the entire area, the girls just all sat around him and closed him in. He was inoffensive, and I'm sure to this poor guy, we may have been a little intimidating. We did have him completely trapped in the corner after all!
Thursday night knitting is just not the same without M. I still enjoy, but I actually have to put effort into being sociable now and its not nearly as relaxing. S is always giving me weird looks, and almost everything she says annoys me. I like talking to D, but I don't want to be a jerk and ignore everyone else. There's a new regular, B, who just makes me want to turn my needles on myself. So, it's just not quite the fun it was before. And that makes me very sad. And guilty that I'd rather just knit at home most Thursday nights. And the guilt will probably make me stick it out a while longer. Maybe it will get better again? Maybe M will quit her job! Haha. Sigh.... It was such an oasis for me for a while.
N and I have decided that we are going to start to diet on Monday. He's doing slim-fast (ick) and I'm going back to my tried and true French diet. Or at least my version of it. It always works, and the pure volume of vegetable that I eat makes me feel very healthy and fresh. The two will work out ok together because we will still be able to have dinners together. But we'll see. Neither of us are the most consistent people in the world about these things! But my jeans are beggin' me, so I'm gonna have to make an effort.
Little A has had a great week. Her audition for Junior Dance Team seemed to go very well. Especially for one so young. She'll find out if she made it on Monday, and I have a feeling that the teacher is taking all the girls. I was talking about this with L and we both agreed that the first thing that kids audition for, should be something they get into. It would take SO much stress out of the auditioning later in life to have that basis. On Tuesday, she had her new little friend S over. They are too cute together and I hope they are as thick as thieves for years to come. Wednesday she got to see L and the baby, and we kidnapped them right over to M's house. That combination of people almost made her head explode with joy. Yesterday she seemed tired so we just relaxed, played and watched a little tv before her dad came to pick her up. He was surly about the fact that he had to handle homework that night. Yeah, poor guy. Has to go through the homework ritual ONCE a week. ONCE. I do it the other 5 and he gets surly about once. Dork ass. Tonight, Little A is having her other little friend B over. She's our Friday thing. And I am going to crash tonight after all of this. My daughters social life is going to be the end of me!
Apparently, tomorrow, N and I are going to a Vegetarian Festival. It was his idea. HIS idea, in case you didn't get that. We made a pact to remind each other to not wear leather. I'm going for the free food sampling. Heehee! I wish I was a little more excited about it. But I'm a lazy vegetarian, and I imagine, pretty offensive to the zealous ones. And I don't want to spend the afternoon feeling defensive. But there's free food, and it was my boy's big effort to take me somewhere that's more "me" than "him", so off we go. Keep the red paint off the jacket. It's fake fur.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Titles are for people with brains.

I'm so sleepy this morning. I woke up around 4:00AM with a tummy ache and it just kicked my arse when I tried to get up an hour later. I feel SO drained and weak today.
But I finished L's socks! And I finally settled on what I was doing for N's gloves. Now hold on, it's the most thrilling, unexpected design I could've picked. Are you ready??? Are you sure???

Yeah, I chose a straight rib after all of that. Dork. 3 x 2. But now they are quick and easy and I should be able to whip them off very quickly. I also dug out and resurrected Little A's Auntie's convertible gloves. The first one is done, so I'll get a picture of it when the picture flood comes in. It's cool. I originally started making them for myself and have days when they are still for me. But they would be a perfect Christmas gift for her, so I'm trying to be strong! And I'm REALLY trying to move these Christmas presents along. It's getting frighteningly close for the amount of people that still have half completed gifts...or no gifts! Oye! Who came up with this damn brilliant idea of knitting all the damn Christmas gifts this year anyway??? Oh, was that same dork that decided to knit all of Little A's goodie bags for her birthday party. Dork.

It's time to go back to bed. Or to starbucks. Nighty night.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Fingerless knitting

ARGH! I'm having a problem with N's fingerless gloves. I admit that I'm obsessing (M!), but when an anti-knitter finally renounces the dark side, and admits that he'd like a knitted something, there's a lot of pressure. Specifically pressure to make the said something not too girly. If its too girly, I will undoubtedly be cast back to the era of eye-rolling and assy comments whenever I pull out my knitting (which is quite often....I can't take it at that frequency!) And so, it must be just right.
He admitted that he wanted fingerless gloves. The ones I had designed were way too girly. Not that he said so, but even M declared them to be "victorian". She told me not to be offended. Haha...victorian? How could I be offended by that? I love it! Anyway....victorian fingerless gloves on a large African man. It just doesn't fit.
So I've cast on twice, very soon to be three times, and tried out various stitches that I felt would be more manly, but still have the give and comfort of ribbing. They all suck. And I'm just at a loss right now. I'd make them with straight ribbing, but it seems to dull. I want them to be special, but not girly! ARGH! So, I'm trying to finish L's sock today instead. Maybe it will inspire me....convince me that I'm not a dunder-head knitter and I'll come up with a brilliant stitch that fulfills all my dreams.

Good Night and Good Luck

This would seem to be the appropriate exchange between N and I at about 6:30 each night.
V: Good night.
N: Good luck.
N's been falling asleep insanely early several nights this week. I can come up with many explanations for this behavior, but they are all dull. Dull, dull, dull. The only funny thing about it, is that N is a guy who used to stay out (regularly) to 6:30 AM. It's fine with me. It means that I don't have to watch so many crime show during my knitting in the evenings, and maybe that means that the frequent nightmares and just plain tiring dreams I've been having will slow down. So, at approximately 6:30, N sets off to dreamland, and I set off to attempting finish SOMETHING.
What I've forgotten to say, is that I *DID* finish something! But didn't get a picture yet (sorry SO!). I finished my pin-up queen. It's very nice, soft and comfortable. So, I'm pleased. Though when I put it on, I was annoyed by the arms. I wore it all day and then realized that I was just annoyed by arms in general. I want summer back. I want to wear tank-tops everyday. My arms (and more specifically, my pits) do not like to be confined. Don't ask me why. They don't like cloth on them, and they fling themselves to the top of my head while I sleep. Maybe they didn't get proper training in my newborn days. That aside, I love the sweater. And when New England winter hits, I'll love it even more.
This weekend I also made a lot of progress on L's second sock. From cuff to 1/4 way through the foot. I'm swimming along on it. I worked on several other things intermittently....and knit too much.... "What could that possibly mean?" you might ask. Well, I knit until my right wrist was killing me, and I went to sleep with it nestled under N's side for the pressure and body heat. It feels better today, but still a little tired.
The weekend was really good. I had a sleep-over with Little A on Saturday night (which just means I let her sleep with me....little fart-bomb that she is!). And she declared me the best mommy in the whole world when I made hot cocoa and told her we could watch a short movie together before we slept. So easy to please.
I was about to crack my window when N called and asked if I had seen a sketchy guy standing outside my window. After a lot of confusion, I did see someone. N was already outside, so he went over and talked to the guy for a minute. He wasn't rude or anything and I was really glad he did talk to the guy....I think it made him understand that he was being watched, whatever he was doing, he was not invisible. And being watched by N is not something one would take lightly. N is a big guy (yum) and even though he's a pussy cat, can *look* mean. The guy turned out to seem innocent....Supposedly waiting for a friend to come out of the building, but it was nice to feel protected and safe.
On Sunday, Little A and her dad went to King Richard's Faire. I was glad that he took her. I like going, but just wasn't in the mood for it this year for some reason. N and I went to see....wait....can you guess????

That's right. We went to see "Good Night and Good Luck." Aren't you smart! It was good. Educational. Not a zone out movie. And I would've preferred a little more depth with a few of the side stories, but overall, it was a good movie. Then we tried out a Greek place for an early dinner. It was ok. I got spinach pie (I've made better) and hommos (good flavor, but not as smooth as I like). But it filled us up. I'm sure we won't be regulars there. We have far too many tasty options in our town to mess with average places. :)
Then it was about 5:00 or so. I said 'good night' to N, though I just thought that I was saying 'good nap'. I watched the Patriots lose. (In case I haven't admitted this yet, I'm a die-hard football fan....and love those rare Sundays when I can veg out and watch an entire game!) During games when the Pats lose, I feel an endless need to explain to someone that they aren't going down hill. They're just having a rough patch with injuries and whatnot. But no one cares, so I keep my defense to myself. And they were dropping like flies last night. Poor Pats. I'm sure they've forgotten how to be losers.
I woke N up for 60 minutes, but he didn't stay awake for much of it. It was lame. Topped off by lame Andy Rooney. My professor S says that anyone can be brilliant for 5 minutes. He seems to be defying this rule more every week.
And then I had some warm cider and went to bed. It was a lovely weekend. Which means my house is a mess. Right along with my scattered brains! It must be time to make a dreaded list.

Stage Mom

Little A has an audition tonight for "Junior Dance Team." She's a year too young and landed in this class because of scheduling. This weekend, we spent almost two hours at home trying to go over her two routines for the audition, and I was very annoyed to feel like I was on the verge of becoming stage mom. I want her to do well, but for her. But I suspect she's just a little too young for this class. And I don't want her to feel disappointed. And I really don't want her to start to dislike dance because it seems to hard for her.
Little A is never too fond of things she finds challenging. Being a bright girl and a fast learner, most things come very easily for her, so she doesn't have to deal with much of the frustration that comes from really having to work at something. But I'd like her to have a *little* of that. Just so she'll learn that it's good to have to work at something, and to feel that pride of mastering something that seemed so difficult.
But its a tough line for me to walk. One little sidestep in either direction and I feel like I'm pushing her too hard, or that I might let her give up on something that she loves just because of a little frustration. I tend to lean toward pushing because I think its good for her. And because I don't want her to become that smart kid that just doesn't have a clue when they actually have to put in a little effort. And becomes a burn-out. But then I feel like a stage-mom. Ick. Again, that's ick. These are the days that I feel like a completely clueless mom.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

No knitting at work?

This is a bad shift in the continuum of my life. Usually, I can at least get a couple of hours of knitting in during the day at my monkey job, but today I've gotten a total of 6 rows of a lace bag I'm working on done. *6* Now, this wouldn't be so bad, but I took a little detour during my trip to the Post Office. A detour to the yarn store of course! During this trip, I conceived of no less than 5 more new projects that I want to start. This on top of the list of 8 or 9 that I had already begun to write down because the thoughts were getting away from my shit-brains. So, I need to finish some things. As usual.
I got some nice washable wool for N's fingerless gloves. Black. Which was oddly a little hard to find. Yuh don't notice the lack of black in yarn stores until you look for it. I also got some nice soft blue wool to make myself another pair of those for home, one for office you see. And I indulged in a beautiful skein of Noro Kureyon in hopes of making myself a felted hat for winter time excursions. It was just too pretty. What was I to do? I also had too put down 4 other yarns that I lovingly carried around for too long. But I put them back, for now.
I got Little A and her friend to bonafide Nancy Knits, since her friend has been badgering me to teach her some knitting. I'll probably save it for her friend's birthday, but they were REAL Nancy Knits (in my opinion), not those lame plastic spools they have in JoAnne's. Anyway.
It's now time for me to leave my virtually knit-less workday. Back to the kitty litter and laundry.

Cheese, glorious cheese

Ever since our visit to the Symphony, I've been chowing the Brie like there's no tomorrow. I had been bouncing back and forth between goat cheese and cheddar, but the Brie is back and it seems it's going to take some cheesing for this craving to be tempered. I had it with dinner last night, baked on top of crusty bread, smothered in carmelized onions. I had it today with lunch, baked on top of crusty bread with an apple. And I plan on having it tonight. It's just so buttery and creamy when it's warm, its completely irresistible. And the only tragic part of this is that I had recently noticed some Stilton with apricots at the market that I wanted to try. But I can really only afford one expensive cheese at a time.

This is the dumbest post I've ever written. But Wallace and Gromit does tend to make one think of cheese more than you normally would.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Little A's Comic Strip

Little A's dad just sent me this email:
Little A drew this comic strip while I was on the phone. Each panel was drawn on asmall yellow stickie and lined up on my computer monitor!

Just a little harmless mind alteration...

Little A and I had a girls' night out on Friday night. We went to see Wallace and Gromit, Curse of the Were-Rabbit, had dinner at Chili's and found a couple of nice books to adopt and bring home from their cruel, hard life at Barnes and Nobles. I thought that I had a ton of energy, but passed out as soon as I lay in my bed, even though Little A was still in the middle of reading me a Barbie/Pegasus Pony book.

Curse of the Were-Rabbit was great and I highly recommend it to anyone who loves bulldogs who carry girlie change purses and the fact that cheese will always be able to save the day....if you just have a dog that knows how to use it! The level of detail in Wallace and Gromit movies is just astonishing and it makes me want to watch it over and over again to catch all the things that I know I must've missed. As we were waiting for the movie to start (I'll delete my tirade about the endless ads....previews are one thing....But ARGH!!!!), a teenage boy walked passed us exclaiming "Everyone, everyone should want to see this movie." It was one of the first times I've ever agreed with a teenage boy about anything.

We woke up to rain on Saturday morning and though cool, fall temperatures were promised by the weathermen, it was hot and muggy. I felt damp all day. M called me to report that she had a knitting victory when Ph finally, on Friday, admitted that he would like her to knit him a sweater. Muaa-ha-ha! And he thought that he could resist! Just a little harmless mind alteration was all it took!

After breakfast and a few Saturday cartoons (YAY! Peep and the Big Wide World!), I delivered Little A to her dad. Went home, took a shower and passed out again. I was deep in the depths of my PMS-exhaustion day, but right as I drifted off, N called and asked if he could pick me up for lunch. Mmmmm....PMR-Pre-Menstrual-Ravenous-ness. So I dressed and we went for an Indian Buffet. Tasty.

We were a lazy couple of mo-fo's all day. It was rainy and we were sleepy, so we lied around in bed, I knit a bit (working on some lace that is still killing me and about to have its wrath turned back on itself) because I don't have N's amazing ability to sleep for extended periods of time during daylight, and somehow we blew away the whole day. That night we attempted to go see Proof, but failed because the parking was just too annoying. So we went and played pool for a couple of hours. It was freezing when we came out of the pool hall. And I mean FREEZING! Luckily I had thrown some finds from the thrift store in my car on Friday, so I ran through the rain and was quickly warmed by my $1 leather jacket. I looked like a biker chic. A biker chic with knitting!

After that, we headed over to see some of N's friends. Not my favorite past-time, but it was a good night to go. Everyone was fairly mellow and the places weren't crowded to the eaves with leery-eyed guys and women giving me dirty looks for taking away one of their prospective husbands. We thought we were just driving across town, but instead, N and I somehow, unwittingly, drove right over the Mason-Dixon line to Alabama. It was scary. Certainly not something either of us would do on purpose. There we met a real-live down-home, toothless gal from Alabama. And not just from there, but maybe even inbred there. She was quite a shock to us. One of the luxuries of living in a metropolitan area in the Northeast is that you generally don't have to encounter southern accents, people who use the term "hot damn" seriously, or mouths that are lacking teeth, dentured or authentic. During our moments of averting our eyes and ears from the Alabamian, N admitted that he really liked one of the designs I just made up for some fingerless gloves and asked if I would make him a pair (in darker colors of course). I thought he was bullshitting me for a good 24-hours after that, but it seems that, indeed, after a little harmless mind-alteration, N's seen the knitting light as well! I'll be off to find him the perfect wool in the next couple of days. We only stayed for about an hour and then we rushed out to see another of N's friends.

This guy is usually host to too many of N's friends and we've had many arguments and horrible evenings in this specific location, but we decided we had to make an effort to make some good memories in previously jinxed places. Luckily, his friend J was the only one there. He is probably the least offensive of any of N's friends. And the event of the evening was staring at episodes of American Justice, which is most likely what N and I would have been doing if we were home. We stayed for an hour or two and I was able to get us out of there by 11:30 or so, which is very early for N on a Saturday, but late for me on any day. He was tired though, so it all worked out.

I made breakfast the next morning...omelets, potatoes, veggie-sausages, and fresh bread. Very tasty! I got my little A back around noon-time and we headed off to see the Wellesley Symphony Orchestra at 3:00. Little A wore her best flower girl dress and looked like a princess off to the royal box. And everyone noticed this which, along with the cookie-filled reception at the end, made Little A quite enjoy the Symphony. I brought along L's sock and nearly finished it. And in the meantime, concluded that there couldn't be many better plans for a rainy afternoon then listening to a symphony and knitting. Especially when followed with Brie and coffee!

I managed to finish L's first sock last night. And I have about 1/2 of the last sleeve from my pin-up queen to do. But this morning, I'm working on some bags. Trying to get them out of my head and into stitches before I loose them to a little harmless mind alteration.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Coma Sleep

I had some serious coma sleep last night. And its left me feeling in a half coma all morning. I don't know why I was quite so dead last night. I biked for a hour (which is a lot, but usually not enough to render me unconscious) while I worked on L's sock #1. I'm hoping to finish it this week. That sock has been lingering around everywhere. It has finally established its spot as the biking sock, so that it can distract me from fact that I'm actually exercising. Little A had a friend over, but they didn't exhaust me. And I made a yummy, but easy dinner. Nothing that really should've made me sleep the dead.
This morning I've been dazzily working on my Pin-up Queen. Almost ready to work on my boobs! Just about 7 more rows of ribbing I'd say.
I'm TRYING as hard as I possibly can to not start something else before I finish one of these two projects. There are just so many others in every corner of my apartment, that I need to see completion on at least one more larger project. I have Little A's blanket going too, but I just don't feel like crocheting lately. Maybe when I actually begins to feel like fall....
Tonight, Little A and I will probably hang out with M and S. It's our happy Wednesday ritual since M got a job that prevents her from going to Thursday night knitting. Little A was already talking about seeing S tonight, so it should be fun. I need to think of a nice little snack for us to have with coffee.
Oh, speaking of food, I made the yummiest potatoes last night. The were sort of a creamy dill kind of thing. So delicious! N loved them too, which is always nice to be showered with compliments!
Well, it seems I'm a little random today, but honestly, I'm shocked that I've been able to even string together sentences. Back to Pin-up Queen!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


I'm working on sketches. It's HARD. Thank goodness that when Roo came visiting on Sunday, she gave me some tips. She rocks, and in ten minutes, probably improved my sketching ability six fold! So now, at least I can tell what I meant to draw, even if it's still not the glorious piece of art that I would like it to be.
I'm trying to submit some designs to various knitting magazines, but some of them require sketches before you go through the whole pattern and picture sh'bang. Why, oh WHY must I be tortured so???? Almost everyone in my family is basically devoid of artistic ability. Crafty ability, we got an overdose of, but for some reason, it just doesn't tend to translate to things like drawing, painting or sculpting. So, I'm struggling.
And not just with the sketching. I was already rejected, quite swiftly, by one magazine. And I am not one to deal with rejection well. I can put on my face and pretend to be "fine and full steam ahead", but it really makes me falter, at least internally. While Roo was visiting, we were talking about how we are both far more competetive than we would generally let on. And being rejected by a knitting magazine that I love, but that I can't say I really thought was that selective (based on some of the past patterns) is quite a sting to the old competitive ego. Booo hisss.
On the bright side, N has been extremely supportive. He's not exactly what you'd call a lover of knitting (and certainly not a lover of my obsessive knitting) but it seems he's just figured out that its important to me and he's been so supportive and even went so far as to unbegrudgingly give me a tiny piece of input on something. It's been nice.
Ok well....full steam ahead. It's time to sketch.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Nevers and Forevers

I've never been comfortable with "forevers". But I've also never been very comfortable with the "be here (and happy) now" type of thinking either.
I hear a lot of nevers and forevers these days. "We'll never break up again." "We'll be together forever." And though, on some level, its comforting to hear, it also makes me endlessly uneasy. Agreeing makes me feel like a fake. Dismissing it makes me feel like an insensitive jerk. I see people accept forevers so easily all the time. Do they really believe in forevers, or do they just find solace in the thought that life could be that stable?
The SAT reviews all warn us, never choose the answer that includes the words "never or forever." But we all, maybe imprudently, choose those answers. I can't really sit here and think that things won't work out with N this time. That would just be futile and depressing. So, basically I am choosing to believe those forevers. If I'm not going to beleive that we will crash and burn ever again, I'm beleiving that we will be together forever. And that is just such a strange and foreign thought to me. So much so that I almost couldn't write it. I almost wrote we MAY be together forever.
Maybe I just lack faith.
There are a couple of things that I beleive and know are forever. I'll always love Little A, forever. Wait, there aren't a couple. There's one. That's the one single thing that I know about forever. And I have no idea where that knowledge comes from or how it could ever be applied to anything or anyone else.
At the end of the day, I guess I'm lucky to know that one forever. But I still wish I could capture the confidence or the optimism to really beleive in the others.