Thursday, April 17, 2008

Faking my way through pre-puberty, Part 1 of 156,724

I'm down to 1296 bloglines. Is that progress or what? Of course I'm still a lame commenter, but its hard to decide what to comment on when your reading through the 34 posts you missed. I'm just hoping dooce won't be too hurt that I just clicked on her 96 posts to get them off the list and didn't read them. We're very tight, me and dooce. Hopefully she'll understand.

Over Christmas (its been so long, I'm still talking about Christmas?) my sister gave me season 1 of Dharma and Greg, which is my all time favorite show. The strangest thing is that Little A loves them as much as I do. She's completely obsessed. She quotes them like trekies quote Bones. Overall, I really enjoy this development being that it has really cut down on my Hannah Montana watching time, but there are drawbacks. I never really noticed how completely sex-centered the show is. Not in a raunchy way, which is nice, but in that lovely way that leads to lots of little questions. I guess if I was ready for this, I'd think it a great conversation starter, but I AM NOT READY FOR THIS. Is there anyone out there who thinks their parents dealt with this very well? What did they do? Treat it as no big deal in hopes that you wouldn't feel the need run out and find some booty? Make it a huge deal in hopes that you would buy yourself a chastity belt? I try to be fairly matter-of-fact, we might as well be talking about homework, but that's total pretend. Obviously, the screaming in my head proves that...and I wonder when Little A will catch on. She's pretty bright and at some point, she might just see that the forced smile on my face is a result of total and complete parental fear. My parents chose to not go through this at all. No sex talk at all. I'm sure they would've been happier if the sex ed class taught stork-lore. So I got nothin'. Not even something to refer to as "Well I won't say THAT." Well, that's a lie. I could think of a whole gaggle of things that I wouldn't say. Its just coming up with those pesky things TO say on the spot when she asks "Why is that funny?" after a reference to the infamous man from Nantucket. Maybe if that guy stops sucking his own wanger for a few minutes I'll ask him.

Don't forget to enter my contest before 9pm tonight!



Blogger Turtle said...

lol, i love that show! The pilot episode so reminds me of hubby and my's beginning relationship! (but now 17 years later, smile...blueberry pie and spontanaity are sometimes a good thing!) Also have to laugh at your kiddie aomments, i have a teen who is turning 16 soon....picture me screaming and pulling my hair, and she is a great kid. But still!!

11:02 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Hee hee - my mom left a facts of life book on my bed with a box of pads...

11:08 AM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

My mother went the book route, too, although she actually handed it to me rather than leave it lying around for me to find. It wasn't a bad way to go, all in all.

1:41 PM  
Blogger knitnzu said...

So here's a conversation from a couple years ago... kiddo was at end of 4th grade, they must've had some hiv ed thing and he had concerns. So I ended up asking him some questions... Do you do intravenous drugs? (no) Do you have any tatoos (no) Do you have unprotected sex? (what's protected sex?) Sex with a condom (what's a condom?) I'm screaming in my head askyourdadaskyourdadaskyourdad, but I say, a latex covering for your penis. Which pretty much ended the conversation.

8:38 PM  

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