Blog for a week....or a month?

Yeah, I'd like to think I'd start being an every-weeker again, but lets face it....I suck when it comes to consistent blogging these days. But I've been TOLD to blog and I actually have a few things to say, so we'll go with a bit of a random post, eh?

First, I have 2 store related things to tell you guys. The most important is that we are having a charity auction starting on Friday to benefit Kiva and Doctors without Borders. The link will be posted on the store website (islandyarncompany.com) on Friday and I would REALLY appreciate if any of you lovely bloggers would help spread the word (and bid of course...if you see something that strikes your fancy). All of the items being auctioned are donations from customers and past store samples. It should be fun and I hope it will be a huge success! And, btw, since you're all probably well aware that I am not above begging....PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!?!?!? Thanks!

The second store related thing is that we've going to have a scarf club (like the sock clubs, but you know...scarves) starting in August. SCARF SURGE! (Please scream it at all times.) All the details are here and it is open to anyone, not just us greater Boston folks. It's $10 off until July 12th, so the time is ripe.

Ok, so that's is about the store. I think. Maybe.

Next...the cat. Pumpkin is being tormented by a little black stray kitty outside. As am I. She's a very cute kitty that I've tried to befriend many times, but she's a bit skittish. NOW, suddenly, she's decided its a grand idea to sit on the window sill and YOWL into my window at Pumpkin (at any hour of course). He's seeking advice from the other cats out there.

Next up, Little A!
So, two weeks ago Little A's school closed. Not for the summer, but for good. Her school is being merged with a larger school here and I'm still getting a little flustered about it whenever I happen to think of it. (Like when I drive by it everyday.) I knew it was coming. They've been preping us all year, which only resulted in me getting teary at every event when I realized "This is the last X event for the school."
I can't tell you how much I've loved and appreciated this school, and though its possible that the new school will be just as good, or even better, I can't seem to stop mourning her old little school. It was the last neighborhood school left in this big city, only two blocks from our apartment. A school where all the kids walked, and almost every parent in the neighborhood knew, or could at least recognize almost any kid who went there. There was only one class per grade. The principal knew all the kid's names and walked down to chat with the parents everyday at dismissal. And unlike many neighborhood schools, it was extremely diverse. Small, safe, closeknit, and diverse. It just doesn't happen that much.
Next year, she'll be riding a bus to a school about 4 times the size of her old school. Next year she may be split up from her best of friends because they aren't all in the same class anymore. Next year, she'll be far more than two blocks from home most of the day. Next year, she'll be part of a throng of students all clamoring for attention. Yeah, maybe next year she'll have better computers and sparkly new bathrooms, but I can't really let go of the nagging feeling that what we've lost is a lot more than what we are gaining.
When I went to pick her up the last day (after having attended the earlier tear-filled closing ceremony) there were a lot more people than usual. Cameras were everywhere (from the neighboring houses, parents, former students, the newspaper), all there to document the very last day that the kids would walk down that little path. As we drove away, past the front of the school, I asked Little A (who was far more thrilled with the coming of summer than sad about the school closing), "Well, are you done with the Bright school?" She was. But as I thought back to her first day at kindergarten, and how I felt oddly at ease by the tiny, close-knit school, I knew I wasn't done with it, even if I had to be.

Visitors and Visiting

Phew. I've spent the last week and a half either having visitors and visiting NY. Fun, but I'm glad spring break is over.

I'm in crunch time for the pattern of the month for the store, but barring any printer disasters, I should be able to get it all set for tomorrow. I don't know how this happens...I really don't procrastinate all month, yet somehow I'm always coming down to the wire.

So, a while back, Stella wrote a post about settling. I can't find it...it was ages ago....I've mentioned I'm way, way behind, right? Well, to be honest, the post kind of pissed me off. I'm not entirely sure why. Oh....if you're reading this Stella, this is not a reflection on you...it was just my testy internal response to the blog post. And hell...here I am talking about it months later, so hopefully you won't take offense at me using it as a jumping off point. But after different things happening, and thinking about it for while, I think what my gripe really is....its with the word "settling." Thar's some shitty connotation with that word, now isn't thar? And honestly, I think that settling really seems to just means a shift in priorities when it comes to finding someone to live life with and maybe abandoning a fairy tale sense of romance. Maybe you decide that you want to be with someone who has a similar belief system, or educational level. Odds are that you came to this decision through either painful or fruitless relationships with other people. So, you decide that this quality it more important than the crushy gushy beginnings. It just doesn't seem like this progression should need to have the negative connotations of settling. Does it? Is it just me? Roo (who is currently blogless) was one of my visitors this past week and insisted that I just felt this way because of recent burns, but I maintained that it wasn't just that. Sure, getting burned by the crushy-gushies sucks, but there's a whole lot more to it.
First....I'm old! Haha....not really, but I'm old enough to not need to be all wrapped up in my partner. I'm perfectly happy having separate sections of my life that have nothing to do with him. And more than not needing to be wrapped up to that extent, I think I would prefer it at this point. It's just so exhausting, and I am waaaay over it.
Second, I seem to suck at choosing men based on the crushy gushies. Yup, somehow, I almost always choose a loser. Or at least one of those fine men that can pretend to be wonderful for 3 month and then, somehow, someway, they suck beyond belief forevermore. I know some of you can relate to this one.
And then... there was more that I can't remember now. I'm so out of practice blogging! But really, what do you guys think about settling? I feel like its an unfair way to look at finding someone based on....well....research. I've researched. This guy sucks for this reason. That guy sucks for some other reason. We're going to try to eliminate some of those variables and see if it works out any better. Anybody got a grant for me? Or at least some thoughts?

Dharma

That's the name. It tried to drop a little hint yesterday, but didn't tell you it was a hint because well....that would be really obvious, now wouldn't it? So all the winners were chosen randomly by random.org.
Turtle wins the kit! And Olga and Chris win the 2 pattern files! Turtle and Olga....can you email me your info at whoringforyarn AT gmail DOT com? Chris....it should already be comin' your way. :)
Me seester is visiting so that's all today! Thanks for playing everyone!

Faking my way through pre-puberty, Part 1 of 156,724

I'm down to 1296 bloglines. Is that progress or what? Of course I'm still a lame commenter, but its hard to decide what to comment on when your reading through the 34 posts you missed. I'm just hoping dooce won't be too hurt that I just clicked on her 96 posts to get them off the list and didn't read them. We're very tight, me and dooce. Hopefully she'll understand.

Over Christmas (its been so long, I'm still talking about Christmas?) my sister gave me season 1 of Dharma and Greg, which is my all time favorite show. The strangest thing is that Little A loves them as much as I do. She's completely obsessed. She quotes them like trekies quote Bones. Overall, I really enjoy this development being that it has really cut down on my Hannah Montana watching time, but there are drawbacks. I never really noticed how completely sex-centered the show is. Not in a raunchy way, which is nice, but in that lovely way that leads to lots of little questions. I guess if I was ready for this, I'd think it a great conversation starter, but I AM NOT READY FOR THIS. Is there anyone out there who thinks their parents dealt with this very well? What did they do? Treat it as no big deal in hopes that you wouldn't feel the need run out and find some booty? Make it a huge deal in hopes that you would buy yourself a chastity belt? I try to be fairly matter-of-fact, we might as well be talking about homework, but that's total pretend. Obviously, the screaming in my head proves that...and I wonder when Little A will catch on. She's pretty bright and at some point, she might just see that the forced smile on my face is a result of total and complete parental fear. My parents chose to not go through this at all. No sex talk at all. I'm sure they would've been happier if the sex ed class taught stork-lore. So I got nothin'. Not even something to refer to as "Well I won't say THAT." Well, that's a lie. I could think of a whole gaggle of things that I wouldn't say. Its just coming up with those pesky things TO say on the spot when she asks "Why is that funny?" after a reference to the infamous man from Nantucket. Maybe if that guy stops sucking his own wanger for a few minutes I'll ask him.


Don't forget to enter my contest before 9pm tonight!

Tryyyyying....

To get back to blogging. Dang. The only things I'm more behind in are email and bloglines. I believe I have been a shitty communicator the past couple of months. And now I've got one whole hour to try to catch up. ONE WHOLE HOUR. Wow....that should get one blog post and my bloglines down to about 2300. Doh! It doesn't help that Little A is always trying to get on my computer as much as I am lately. Those darn webkinz.

So anywho, what brings a blog back to life better then a contest? (Besides frequent posting I mean.) So, remember this cute, cute hat:

Yup, I put the pdf up on etsy and I still love this hat so dearly that I'm dreaming of seeing it sprout up on lots of little ones on other's blogs. So, I'm gonna give away 1 kit for this hat, and 2 patterns. Here's the deal. Little A bought me a Webkinz so that we could virtually communicate because who wants to ACTUALLY talk to their mother when they can send messages. (I'm still wondering if she's catching on that her birthday could be all virtual gifts this way....) So, guess what I named my Webkinz (And I do realize that this could possibly be the lamest contest ever, but cut me some slack ok). If someone guesses the actual name, they get the kit. Otherwise, I'll randomly select the winners from everyone who enters...one guess per person. The patterns will be emailed in a pdf file. The kit will be snail mailed since its still a little challenging for me to figure how to email yarn. Knitters....have you figure this out in my absence? The contest ends Thursday at 9:00pm EST. Please post your guesses as a comment to this post. Ok? Did I remember everything for bloggy contests? Probably not. I'm so out of practice!

In other news....the store is going pretty good. The best part is that I've got rockin' peeps who hang out with me a lot and are so helpful and supportive. I love knitters. Its such a totally different atmosphere from my previous hellish job. I mean, I would just as soon be at the store than at home. It's just....nice.

I've got a ton of FO's to post....knitting my little fingers off you know. A lot of them are store samples, but I still have lots going that are just for my own insanity.

Ok, well....I've only got 40 minutes left to knock off some of those bloglines. So, I'll sign off! Enter my contest! :)

To do list

So, "Blog" has been on my list of things to do for weeks now. I'm quick aren't I? You can now all judge the state of the kitty litter and other chores based on my stellar blogging performance.

As always happens after I attempt to come back after taking a little break, I feel pretty much at a total loss for words. And I'm trying to resist the urge to just a make a laundry list of all the interesting things that have happened over the past few months because I REALLY am trying to be a little more regular (in blogging, not pooping....pooping is fine, thank you very much), so I can't go and blow all my stuff the first go, right? Right. I'm sure you all agree. But since I'm now verging on total blather and no news at all...I'd better pick one of them, don't you think? Otherwise, this may be one of the most pointless entries I've ever made. And that surely is saying something. Even though I'm not saying much of anything at all. Hey! That's awesome! Want to vote for me for president? I'm surely qualified with aimless not-talk like this!

Ok, ok. I actually have no desire to ever be president (you can all let out that breath now!) so I'll tell yuh....around about Thanksgiving (yes its been that long), I quit my stupid, fucking job! YAY! I sure did! It was an excellent day, and life without that fucker of a boss has been much, much better!

Not the post I thought it was going to be

I was going to post today. It's been a while and I knew I should come on and tell you all how fun and hectic getting the store going has been. How Little A is supremely good with customers and loves the cash register. How New England sport teams are now so good that they are making me uncomfortalble (I do much better cheering on the underdogs and we now have none of those.) Just stuff....stuff I can't even remember right now, but it was generally good stuff (apart from the exhaustion).

Then, N called and told me something that has left me completely dumbfounded, filled with sorrow, and feeling really lucky.

I don't think I ever relayed much of this story on here, so I'll just give you a little background. A year (or more....I'm bad with time) before N and I started dating, one of his friends started flirting with me. At the time he seemed really nice, warm, etc... Turned out that he was just a sweet talker and our very brief interlude lasted all of 3 or 4 weeks. At the time, I just chalked him up as "just another asshole". When I started dating N, I started to get a much fuller picture of this guy and realized that he wasn't JUST another ass hole, he was a compulsive liar, and as far as I could tell, a sociopath. His nickname among my friend quickly became Pure Evil. It sounds extreme, but the things N would tell me about this guy. N was not too close to him while we were dating because I would totally lose my shit at the mention of Pure Evil, and still being friends with him? That was just not a part of my deal. I guess it sounds a little assy....like some bitchy girlfriend who tears apart long-time buddies, but the guy was just too evil and I couldn't handle him even being cursorily apart of my world. He's been addressed in this blog before, here, #4. I rarely talk about him because I know how sensationalized it sounds to talk about someone being evil, and whatnot, but well, N called this morning with all the confirmation that anyone will ever need. Even N has now realized that he is the worst human being you could imagine.

Before I tell you all this, I'm just going to preface, so that no one gets crazy concerned about me, I've been tested and I am negative.

So, N called to tell me that he found out this weekend that Pure Evil has KNOWN that he is HIV+ since 2001. I cannot even tell you how many people this guy has had sex with and let me tell you, he is very condom-resistant. He's knowingly ruined, probably, hundreds of lives. He's been engaged for a few months, and infected his fiance, who has a child from a previous marriage. Someone he claimed to love. He finally came clean with N, but judging from his behavior, N doesn't believe that he plans to stop anytime soon. N's trying to figure out a way to turn him in, or who to turn him in to. I just can't even describe how lucky I feel that I escaped this and how completely filled with sadness I am when I think of how many people he's hurt and basically killed. How many kids are now, or will be, motherless...how many mothers watched their daughters die...how many others might have been infected by the already astronomical amount of people that he's infected. I just can't...

Hello, my name is Chattering Crack Monkey

Yep. I decided to officially change it since that's basically how I have been lately. I figure it will help me to remember my own name..."Wait...who am I....what am I? I know!"

Thank you all for all your supportive and EXCITED! comments! I'm pretty jazzed, so it was so fun to hear everyone else be jazzed too!

I just switched the website of the store over to Wordpress. It was on GoDaddy and I just cannot even express enough distaste for GoDaddy. It's just a start, but let me know what you think!

Things with the store are swimming right along though, not that I can remember what I've done or what I need to do, but I did get a gigantic box of beautiful new yarn yesterday and touching that stuff pretty much washed away all my worries! Except....

My little girly has been SICK. I can't beleive it. This kid NEVER gets sick and ironically, the day before she got sick, we each had our annual physicals and the doctor declared her PERFECT, even though he doesn't usually say that word...blahblahblah. Poor kiddo. She's not used to being sick, so it really hits her hard. Send her healthy energy, ok?!

The news!

You heard it here first!

This may be the biggest violation of a yarn diet that I have ever heard of.

I bought this. (Though the website still needs to be updated!) Nope, not just some pretty yarn that might be listed over there, the WHOLE DAMN STORE!

Wahoooooo! It's insane! I love it!

I'm re-opening this weekend, so if you are in the area, come by and see me!

Warning, Warning!

It is highly possible that I will be posting very shocking news soon. Really! Shocking! Just a little too soon.

(No, I'm not getting married and I am not pregnant, just so you know.)

Bookity Book Book

A while ago I posted about my need for some book recommendations and you all came through with tons of ideas. I took a trip to the library that very day and got what I could...I had about 15 minutes to track stuff down because I was expecting a phone call and the librarians look at you like your mooning the mayor if your phone happens to go off in the library. I got several....some of which are long over-due because I also happened to hit a nice sale on a book-splurge day over at More Than Words. (I also lost a knitting bag that day, so my sale-high got killed a little by the loss of sock yarn, bamboo needles, and the awesome bag that Jodi made me for the KMKS. Boo-hoo!) Anywho, here's a little reading update....


Jemima J, by Jane Green



Hmm. What to say about this book? This was one of the two disappointments that led me to ask you all for recommendations in the first place. I just really didn't like it at all and I actually don't know how it came to be in my pile of books. The only thing that made it all tolerable was that it was such a quick read that I didn't waste too much of my life on it. It was really trite and I felt like I was reading the fantasies of the most boring 14-year old in the entire world. Not to mention all the diet talk just made me want to nosh on things endlessly!


Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire



Before I tell you how this one also disappointed me, I have to tell you that I love Gregory Maguire. I really do. I think he's re-tellings of fairy tales are usually unique and engaging and I have to confess that I love fairy tales. Before even reading this book, I wondered if he had written this 352 pages for the sole reason that he wanted to name a book "Son of a Witch" because well, that's funny. By the end of the book, I was still sort of wondering the same thing. It was a little pointless for me. The way in which a teenage boy finding himself sort of story might be pointless to a 30-something year old woman. It wasn't a total waste and I can see how a....teenage boy might like it...but it was just predictable and less creative that I typically find him. (At one point I wondered if he had just completely run out of creativity mid-book when he named these long-necked animals DRAFES. Ack!) But I really do love his writing and have Mirror, Mirror in my line-up. Let's hope the return to a female main character helps because this book made me feel as if the male part of his voice is still a boy, while the feminine part of his voice is much more developed and intense.


Hunting Unicorns by Bella Pollen



This was the first off my library stack, and it was lovely. A nice tense love story that doesn't get tied up in a neat little bow and doesn't end up in disaster (Oprah Book club anyone? Damn, does she love some tragedy) either. I've thought a lot about this book, and really I just found it comforting. The setting, the tension, the crazies...I just found them wholly comforting.




Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling


I successfully avoided almost all spoilers this time and really enjoyed this last Harry Potter. Like many, I find myself wanting to re-read the whole series. I wasn't too hip on the final chapter (though I hear this isn't a unique viewpoint) since you may have noticed that neat little bows don't exactly thrill me, but it was about 6 pages of "eh" plopped onto several hundred pages of a really great end to the story. Since there may still be three of you out there that haven't read it, I won't say too much more, but I was very happy with a lot of the twists, which were largely evening out those who were appearing both purely good or evil.


Right now, I'm currently reading:


American Gods by Neil Gaiman, which, so far, I love, love, love and wish I could just make this book go on forever.











The Reader by Bernhard Schlink, which, so far, is doing absolutely nothing for me expect for keeping me moderately distracted for part of the flight back from Disney.











Oh, by the way....the lunch containers. A couple of you asked about them. For many, many different kinds, you can just search for "bento" on ebay. Another that I really like can be found here, cheap, and free shipping if you work on filling that Amazon cart. Little A especially likes these ones because they are so well compartmentalized. She does not appreciate her food running together.

UFO Resurrection and a bunch of random stuff

Hey! We're back. We've been back for a while actually, but I was busy sleeping off my Disney induced coma. We had fun and it was all pretty amazing, but let me tell yuh...Mickey took that big boat of a shoe of his and kicked my ass. Hot. Tired. More hot. More tired. Blisters. Tired. Hot. You know...Disney. Here's proof that we really were there:

Here's proof that it was really hot and sunny:

There's more pictures of course, but I think I'll have to get around another day. Today is random catch up day, you see, so we can't dwell on anything too long.

For August's UFO Resurrection, I opted to rip, rather than finish. This was a shawl I started last summer on our vacation (sorry...wonky unblocked lace....I wasn't about to block it before I frogged it!).

I screwed it up right at the beginning, but as it was vacation and I hadn't notice my screw up for another 20-30 rows, I just kept knitting, trying to convince myself that it wasn't noticeable. But I kept looking at it and it kept driving me batty, which is unusual because I am really not much of an anal knitter.

Do you see? I screwed up the YO's on like the 5th row! Blah! It got set aside, for....like a year...and I finally decided that it must go:

This yarn may still end up being this shawl, but right now it lives as yarn.

I also got into the Sockamania Club this month and managed to finish the August socks, but you'll have to go there to see them because they are for my friend L, and she reads here sometimes, and I'm depending on inertia and two small boys to prevent her from actually clicking the link and checking them out over there.

I packed a few (well, I packed more than a few, but I actually got a few on the camera) more lunches lately:

Here we have a hard-boiled egg, wheat crackers, carrot rounds, celery with peanut butter and goji berries, a mini mac and cheese and pistachios. Yum!

This one contains a green bean casserole type of thing, veggie chicken nuggets made by me (This creation made me realize that I am a total fucking genius by the way....Little A agrees, but, happily, seems to leave out the "fucking"), mini corn, grape tomatoes, rice crackers, grapes, and a Babybel cheese.
And this one....cheddar cheese, grapes, goldfish, carrots, grape tomatoes, celery and little container of peanut butter.

Other random and nice things....

I finally got into Ravelry! But as expected I can't really seem to sacrifice too much of my knitting time for it, so my little notebook is growing VERY slowly.

I also FINALLY read the last Harry Potter book. Which means I cant stop telling people to SHUT UP the minute they try to discuss any aspect of it with me. That's good because I probably already tell people to shut up a little too much for any kind of good karma.

And I'm a little less funky. Thanks for all of your comments. :) Please feel free to ignore my whining anytime!

And that's all for now.

What smells so funky in here?

Oh, it must be me.

Yeah, I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Just sort of bouncing between feeling restless and exhausted and angry and sad and frustrated. Sometimes I feel like I must be at some sort of transitional point and other times I just feel stuck. I listen to people talk to me and feel like I can't trust what most of them say. I feel so lonely sometimes, but also like remaining alone is the only way to stay safe and sane. I feel full of ideas, but have no energy to enact most of them. I feel like I'm swimming upstream and the current is winning. And I'm so tired of it all. All the time, just so tired. I guess its all just the nature of the funk.

On the bright side, I don't think I actually do SMELL funky....maybe.

Catch you all on the flip side of Disney.

Just under the wire FO

Ages ago I joined Kat's UFO Challenge, and though I have been finishing quite a few things, I've been one sorry lame ass about posting them. But this one is for July...



A Kiri Shawl made of 900 yards of raw silk, fingering weight. It is beautiful, no? I'm completely in love with it. The pattern was easy and very clear and I would recommend it to anyone.



This shawl should've been finished ages ago, as I was moving along on it at quite a clip, but then I got to the edging. I have a secret suspicion that I have an edging curse. Everything was perfect. As I said, the pattern is very clear, and I had no doubts in knitting right along...when I got to the center stitch of the first row of edging, I was off. I tinked it back, thinking that I had some brain malfunction along the way, and did it again. No dice. Off again. This went on for a loooong time, alternating with bouts of shawl neglect, during which I convinced myself that when I picked it back up it would be fine, everything would work.



A few weeks ago, I was determined to finish the thing. I loved it and I wanted it. I went back to the pdf file, counted stitches here there and everywhere. Finally, I checked my chart against the written instructions, not really believing that the chart could be wrong, but I couldn't think of anything else. Confusion set in on the first 5 stitches. I went back to look at the pdf chart again and realized that the day I printed it, my printer must've been on red strike. It hadn't printed those little red YO's that frame the edging pattern. It didn't print ANYTHING in those spots, so I was knitting them. Once I added them in, everything went quickly and swimmingly again. And now I can honestly say that my printer has something against my knitting. Terd.



So, my weird word of advice about this lovely shawl? Make one, and make sure you have red ink in your printer.

Nine.

Yup, you guessed it. It's my 9th post! Can you believe it? I never thought I would last through nine whole posts as a blogger!

Hardy har har. No, that's not the nine I'm talking about....

This past week, my dear Little A turned 9. NINE! (By the way, birthday party planning was the reason for the most previous absence....just in case any of you were wondering if I had spent the past too weeks floating in a liquor filled pool of master's completeness...I wish.)

Her birthday was the standard Little A multi-day extravaganza and she seemed quite happy about everything. Mostly. I gave her the ultimate of all gifts this year...a trip to Disney. (I'd tell you to feel free to question my sanity, but most of you already know the true state of my sanity.) She was....weird. Fully expecting her head to explode upon figuring out this gift out (I included a series of clues in some small gifts), the room was silent. And she looked...confused....just generally weirded out. It was truly anti-climatic.

Last night, about 3 minutes after she went to bed, she comes into my room saying she had a nightmare. We went to Disney and got caught in a tornado (I'm guessing she means hurricane, but whatever). She's freaking out about the trip and thinks we are going to die in a hurricane. Where the hell did this come from? Weekly Reader. Remember those? Some Weekly Reader she read this year in school has firmly connected Florida with hurricanes. Great. Super. Thanks Weekly Reader, I owe you one.

So this morning...I offered her a new gift. "We don't have to go to Disney if you don't want to," I said praying I could get my money back if she really took this route. I have to tell you, these are not words that I ever thought I would have to say as a parent. We talked the whole way over to her Dad's though, and after guarantees of pretrip weather checks and contingency plans, she decided that she really did want to go to Disney and actually (finally) started to get excited about it.

I have a VERY sensitive child...have I mentioned it before?

The Blessed News

"I am pleased to report that the paper passed without further recommendations or changes."

I am finally DONE with my Master's Degree. DONE!!!!!!

Finally.

Done.

Did you get that?

FINALLY DONE!!!

McCartney Mania

The other night, I dreamed that I was at a Paul McCartney concert. Near the beginning, there was a drawing. One person in the audience would be Paul McCartney girlfriend, for the concert, or a day, or some other amount of time. That was a prize. I won. Being Paul McCartney's girlfriend for the concert entailed sitting on the stage to watch the concert. Afterward, he gave me a "Lovely to meet you not get me out of here" celeb kiss on the cheek and disappeared. I was quite upset by his departure and so his crew organized a Q&A with a bunch of other groupies where I was supposed to tell them all what it had been like to be Paul McCartney's girlfriend for 3 hours. At first, I thought it was like group therapy, but then I realized that I was expected to be bragging about this glorious event. So I sat, on the stage of a school auditorium and fabricated stories about our AMAZING connection (Umm...yeah...Age of Love rambled in the background of my knitting the other night. Please don't berate me....I swear I didn't watch that disaster of a show on purpose or with any amount of attention!) that sparked the moment I heard my name drawn.

Yum, yum...Savory Chickpea Pancake

This is my favorite dinner recently. It's partially take from a recipe in Italy in Small Bites by Carol Field and partially take from Madhur Jaffrey's version in World Vegetarian. It's so very yummy. You can substitute anything you want for the mushrooms and feta, or take one out completely. I think roasted red peppers would be fabulous...but I haven't tried them yet.



Ingredients:


1 cup besan (chickpea flour)

1.5 cups water

1/2 tsp salt (+ a little to sprinkle on top, if desired...I like salty food)

1/2 tsp thyme

1 portabello mushroom, thinly sliced

1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese

Olive oil for the pan



Whisk the besan into the water, gradually, until it is all well combined. Leave it to sit for a LONG time, at least several hours. I usually make it before I go to work and then make them for dinner. After its done sitting, preheat oven to 500 degrees and skim all the foam off the top of the mixture. Whisk in the salt and thyme. Oil a baking sheet (like for cookies...with rims on all sides) generously. Pour the mixture into the pan (the batter is thin...it will look sort of like whisked eggs), lay the mushrooms into the mixture, sprinkle with crumbled feta and drizzle a little olive oil over the top. Bake at 500 degrees for 12-15 minutes, until the edges and the top are golden. Lightly salt it just as soon as you take it out of the oven. Serve it with some grapes or cherries or whatever and you'll say yumyum!

The tragic Koigu and Clue #2

Look, I rhymed! I'll try to stop that, I promise.

A while ago, my excellent pal from SP9 (It was 9, right?) asked if I had gotten to play with the long-coveted Koigu that she so generously sent me. Indeed, I had! I cast on some socks, toe-up because I wasn't sure exactly how far Koigu goes, on size ONE needles. A little insane, I should say, but...I wanted them to last forever once they were made, so I figured I would suffer through a little tight knitting for such a goal. I got just about an inch away from the top of the first...

That's a split rib, or something...it's a stitch pattern from Sensation Knitted Socks, and though the picture may not show it, these socks were quickly (HA! Quickly...on size ONE needles...as if...) turning into a thing of beauty.

As I was admiring them one day, I turned the sock around and found this:

Can you see it? IT'S a HOLE!!!! A hole?!?! I have no idea how it came to be, but it is almost halfway down the foot. I don't know how to darn, and though I'm sure I could learn how, I don't want my beautiful new Koigu socks to be darned even before I wear them....like some old stinky socks. I'm pretty sure I just have to rip them back and start over. Its truly tragic. I'll probably move up to size 2's this time though because the 1's were really driving me out of my damn mind. And I need no help with craziness these days.

Clue #3 for the Mystery Stole is due today...here's what I have, up to Clue #2 in the recycled cashmere. Using this yarn makes me realize I really have to get out to some yard sales and find myself some more cashmere sweaters to rip apart! It's really lovely to hold.

Oh...and I'll write a little about this more, but I seem to be lacking good books lately. Having been on a reading ban for a while because of that damn thesis, I'm a little out of the loop. I need some help...what's the best book you've read this year? Or last year? I'm going to the library tomorrow and I need a list. I've been disappointed twice in the last two days by two totally different books. I need no more dissappointment in my life these days. Blah!

More excellent judgment!

Just in case you were all looking for a reason to further question my amazing judgment...

there's been mitered love lately. Yup, now that it's summer, I thought it was high time to drape a warm, thick blanket all over me whenever I got the chance! When you last saw it, it looked like this:



Now:

And hanging off the end of the bed....just where it wants to live....

I really should've taken the pictures on the floor, but I was blocking something else on the floor and added to Little A's constant stream of crap on the floor, there just wasn't space. (Plus I need to vacuum...Pumpkin's been shedding in gigantic fur tufts all over the place. It's gross! Not gross enough to make me vacuum when I should, but gross enough that I don't want to show you.)

Polar Opposites

Yuh know, on any given day, its hard to know what I'll be working on. Today, these two are the winners. The top? You guessed it. I took the plunge. It's mystery stole #3, clue #1. I had resisted this mystery stole thing for a good month or so when I first heard a woman talking about it at my LYS. I kinda wanted to, I kinda knew that I had far too many things already languishing, unfinished, in my apartment. And so I resisted. Last Tuesday, at knitting, the dirty scoundrel, Cyncyn, started talking about it again. I really tried to ignore her. And I probably did it well enough that she was unaware that I was listening at all (diligently weaving in mitered ends, and all). I still had restraint. Because? I hadn't seen it. I still was able to remain strong because I had no visual coaxing. And then?

Stinkin' Harlot. Just had to show off how beautiful it is, didn't she? Argh. So, I joined, and knit clue #1 last night. I'm not using the beads, as they are optional, and to be honest I find beads and knitting a little icky. It's just a personal thing. Like strawberry fluff. Blech. The yarn is a recycled cashmere sweater from Lord and Taylor. I plan to dye it at the end after the whole design has been revealed. It's a little too yellow for me. I'm sure it will end up a dark red or dark purple since I like most things to be dark red or dark purple, but I guess we'll see how the design goes.

The bottom piece is the front of a new dancing bag for Little A. I was gifted some yarn recently. Actually it was a little more of a donation than a gift which means I can say I don't really like it, right? The giver knows this, but seemed humored to see what I might come up with for it (and several others that included a horrifying amount of ORANGE). I was playing around with it last night, muttering about how I didn't like it when Little A began to express her undying love of its pure beauty. (Ick.) She's needed a new dance bag for a few months now, so I asked her if she would like it for that. It's damn sturdy, let me tell you. Even if she starts wearing steel toed tap shoes, it should hold up for quite a while. I plan to make it even more ghastly and girly, so just you wait. That Easter puke up there is just the beginning!

So there you have it....the fine, meticulously patterned beautiful knit lace and the bulky, hardy, Easter puke wing-it bag. Polar opposites.

Bad bad blogger.

I know. It's true. I'm a shitty shitty blogger. Ah well. What can I say? This is the second week in a row that I vowed to myself to have a knitting post everyday (in order to distract you from my other pathetic ramblings, of course) and here it is THURSDAY and I'm just getting around to the first one. I rock.

So, here is my belated post about the lovely package that I received from my Knitter's Coffee Swap Pal, Tammy. Sorry it took me so long Tammy. I LOVED the package. Here is the first view:





Oddly, pumpkin was once again interested. Very strange, this new behavior of being interested in my stuff. Once the paper was lifted, he did the required tuna check...

and seemed to be a bit perplexed by the contents.

So he did a once over of all the great gifts Tammy sent. There is a beautiful indie dyed yarn...400+ yards of my FAVORITE colors, maple flavored chocolate, mint chocolate, dpn holders, a lb of delicious deep coffee as well as lovely one-cups of two other flavors and organic hot cocoa, two flavors for adding to my coffee as my mood suits (perfect for a sometimes flavor girl, sometimes not!) and lamby, of course for Little A (at least that's what Little A says). Everything was absolutely yummy or beautiful! Tammy was really a great partner! Thank you Tammy! It was such a fun package!


And finally, at the end of package exploration, Pumpkin's true motives were revealed:

Typical.


In other random news, my boobs look huge today. It is vital that you all know that.

And so far, I have stuck to my yarn diet. Could this be the reason for the excess boobage today?

I decided to try some raw food recipes. I'm actually pretty skeptical, but I'll keep you posted as to their yumminess or vileness. It looks like I need LOTS of nuts. As if I'm not nuts enough.

Ok, better sign off before my blog self-destructs from the presence of an actual post.

PS - Bloglines seems to have pruned my list a little in my absence! Ack...I figured out a couple, but I know I'm missing some. If you used to be there and you are not any longer, leave me a comment so I can add you back in.

Hope.

Not always what its cracked up to be.

"Oh no! Not another one of those posts!!" they run screaming.

Yeah, what are yuh gonna do?

I've found that with Mr. Eyes, the thing that still kills me, day after day, is the hope. I'm sure there were times in the past when I would've written a post singing the virtues of hope. I even heard the Dalai Lama once say that hope was what gave us humanity, set us apart from animals. Hope. So....warming....so.....hopeful.

Its weird to feel so ambivalent about hope. One minute wanting to wish it away, the next minute wanting to cling to it like industrial velcro. But the thing with Mr. Eyes? I can't seem to turn off on him. It's never been that hard, especially when something really changed in a relationship, for me to turn off. There are things that could be done to make me turn back on again, to some extent, which explains all the reruns with N, but turning off has never been a problem. Enough anger could quickly disintegrate any love I had.

But I can't turn off on Mr. Eyes. Whether I avoid him. Whether we make attempts to be "friends". Whether we're having a completely pissy talk. I just can't turn off on him. And so I still hope that everything will change. And I hate that hope and wish it away all the time, but it just lies there in my heart, waiting.

He certainly doesn't help this situation. Constantly still talking about us when we're old and gray, and apparently, very, very funny. Or his general denial that anything has gone awry. (Though, thankfully, that seems to have quieted a little. Apparently it takes about a month for these things to sink into his head.) And he doesn't help by continually telling me that he loves me or giving me the infamous eyes. He just doesn't help.

And he doesn't help by changing what needs to be changed either. And so I just wait. I take comfort that I shouldn't take in hugs from him, but don't let him cross the threshold of my apartment. I sometimes don't see him at all in a day, and other days stay up way too late talking to him, feeling those same things I always have with him. And almost everynight, there is a moment when I'll close my eyes and imagine things to be right, but always curse myself for it when I have to open them to reality again.