Ex-coffee and good mail
Yesterday, I stopped at Starbuck before work, which I rarely do. Though I love me some Vanilla Latte, someday I want a house. So, it was a rare morning treat. I was even going to get a muffin or danish or something. So, I went inside instead of guessing what looked good from my car. For 6AM, there were a lot of people standing around, all with sort of annoyed-waiting faces on. I left and went through the drive-thru instead. They're always faster there and I needed to get to work. After more than the usual amount of time, I was greeted by the friendly Starbucks voice:
"Welcome to Starbucks. We don't have any brewed coffee today, but I'd be happy to make you one of our other drinks."
Oye. For the love of God! Why must you toy with me this way, Starbucks???
Now listen to me Starbucks, I may have just said "No Thanks" to the voice because I figured the voice was probably having one hell of a morning telling pre-caffeinated gorillas that they couldn't get their triple-caffeinated Starbucks. But to you Starbucks, I must say WHAT. THE. FUCK??? (deep breath) I mean, I understand, weird things happen. Starbucks runs out of coffee at 6 freaking AM! (deep breath) But tell me, Starbucks, why even bother? Just lock the doors and let the voice go home next time, ok? Then I'll move onto Dunkin Donuts a little quicker and at least mildly soothe my inner caffeine gorilla, ok?
Ok, my day didn't start out too great, but THEN, I had another good mail day! Lisa sent me all of this for my blanket and the whoring for yarn contest! Woo-hoo! Thanks Lisa! That is some serious blanket help sitting on that table!
Then, as if that wasn't good enough, I got my first sock yarn from Mama E's sock club. Look how purty:
So my blanket, which looked like this last week:
Now looks like this:
Yuh know how Tink always posts her little Hoop conversations for our delight. I may have to start to post conversations with Little A's dad for your incredulity (is that a word?...eh, who the hell cares, its FRIDAY). He's just really been going above and beyond the realm of stupidity for the last couple of months, and I tell yuh, its wearing me down a wee bit.
These stories may have to come out bit by bit because, honestly, they are so exhausting and convoluted its impossible to express him in one random Friday bit. Though he's always had this "I'm such a tortured soul" self-pitying blanket that he wraps around himself, he's recently wrapped it around his work world as well. He has to work 50 hours a week, just to survive, he tells me. Wow. 50 hours. Whatever. A lot of people work a hell of a lot more than that and considering that he can work nearly 20 of those at home if he wants? Yeah, not so much pity. Suck it up, buddy.
He has Little A for approximately 2 waking hours at night 2 weekdays and Saturday. He also "gets her ready for school" though she tends to get dressed at my house, gets her own breakfast, so really all he has to do with her between the hours of 6:30 and 8:30 is to tell her to brush her teeth and hair. He claims this to be the hardest part of the parenting day. He throws a fit if he ever has to help her with her homework on the two nights she is over at his house.
Though conversations with him have their bizarre "are you kidding me" kind of humor, I'm really starting to worry about Little A. I think his behavior is really starting to make her feel unwanted at his house. He was not very attached to her when we split, but I thought it was really important for her to have a relationship with him, so I basically enforced a relationship. He's had his good times and bad times, but generally I thought it was good for her.
But now, I just don't know. I don't want her to feel unwanted everytime she crosses the threshold of that apartment. But, I still think it may be sort of mistake to cut him off, which I have little doubt that he would resist. I've attempted to talk to him about it a little, but once he's in his self-pity, there's really nothing that will get him out of it. EVERYthing is about his HARD life. Nothing and no one else even enters in, not even some concern for Little A.
I keep thinking when she's older, maybe I'll just move a bit, and he can become every-other weekend dad. But, I don't know. Is there an age that its ok to cut off dad? So far, much like working 9-5 instead of working these crazy 6-2 hours so that I can get her from school everyday, it seems too early, she seems too young.
It's something I think about every single day. Every time she calls me from his house, upset about something that he really needn't be an ass about if he could just grow up and be a parent. What think you, blogosphere? Is it better for kids to have consistent contact with lame-ass dad or better to let him fade out?