Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Thesis = End of Sanity

V is not a happy camper this morning.

I had my meeting about my thesis. A piss poor meeting, to be sure.

I cannot express the level of burnt-outedness I feel about all things social science, and apparently, that feeling came through in the paper, loud and clear.

She thinks that since I've had three weeks "off" (hahahahahahahahaha!) that I should be able to look at it with "fresh eyes" and do some pretty serious restructuring. Too bad my eyes are no where near fresh, and I only like the word restructuring if is means lighting a match to that damn thing.

Here's the thing. I have read THOUSANDS of pages for this paper alone. I have been trapped in social science/peace-conflict studies hell for more than 10 years if we count undergrad, which we most certainly do count. Once you've read that much, once you've been completely immersed for so long, EVERYTHING is linked. Everything is inextricably connected. And apparently extracting myself from that realization is what I will have to do to "re-work" this pile of shit.

I'm so burnt out on it all. I fear there will be no fresh eyes for years and I can barely look at the thing without feeling nauseous.

Not happy.

2 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

Can you get an outside reader, who has some slight familiarity with your field, but isn't buried by it (which it sounds like you are)???

3:14 PM  
Blogger JayneSays said...

I am so sorry about your burn out and frustrations!

If it is all unknowable (or you are just sick of it all) is there a way to just boldly choose a (defensible) central point and structure the rest around it? Maybe it doesn't have to be "THE" answer, etc. but just a strong central point you can persuasively argue to get the whole thing behind you?

i.e. Women, even if successful in resolving others' conflicts often fail in resolving our own interpersonal conflicts because of socialized indirect behaviors that repress aggression . . . (I am borrowing from the book Odd Girl Out . . .)

[caveat - I have no idea what I'm talking about (talking out of my ass!), just want to be supportive and as a lawyer, I have learned to persuasively argue just about anything and even convince myself of my own arguments ; ) It can be done!]

3:23 PM  

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