The times I miss high school
Are very few and far between. I went to three different high school's over the 4 years and was one pissed off teenager for the whole 4 years.
There *is* one thing that I miss though. I miss the days of having easy-going male friends. I have one, far away (so I see him like once every five years), but I wouldn't count any of the other men I know or see often as friends. Its probably my own fault for letting letters and emails fall through the cracks until all those friendships faded, and now? Male friends seem just problematic. New male friends always seem to have "motives" or they have other halves who think you have "motives".
I miss motive-less guy friends. I miss the ease of hanging out with a guy for hours without the worries of what the next unexpected movement will be. I miss being able to let down my guard, which I can never do now, not even for a moment. I miss being able to flirt, for the sole purpose of flirting and nothing more. I miss not having to censor everything I say so that it won't be confused as an invitation.
I miss trusting.
There *is* one thing that I miss though. I miss the days of having easy-going male friends. I have one, far away (so I see him like once every five years), but I wouldn't count any of the other men I know or see often as friends. Its probably my own fault for letting letters and emails fall through the cracks until all those friendships faded, and now? Male friends seem just problematic. New male friends always seem to have "motives" or they have other halves who think you have "motives".
I miss motive-less guy friends. I miss the ease of hanging out with a guy for hours without the worries of what the next unexpected movement will be. I miss being able to let down my guard, which I can never do now, not even for a moment. I miss being able to flirt, for the sole purpose of flirting and nothing more. I miss not having to censor everything I say so that it won't be confused as an invitation.
I miss trusting.
Labels: That crap called life
Copyright 2005-2006 by Spells With...All rights reserved
Speak to me, 7 already did
7 Comments:
No doubt! I had a wonderful male friend, but now that he isn't single anymore, I barely see him. We're getting together to catch up next week and I thought it would just be us, but his girlfriend is suddenly coming along... *sigh*
Ok, maybe you need a gay guy friend. I had a wonderful one of these. I still miss him. Big, black, bald, beautiful, and totally not a person who I'd usually know. Hard upbringing, hard life, living on the edges. His first thought when he first saw me? "Who is that skinny white bitch sitting at the computer like such a slouch?". THAT was in 1986 or so! I'm trying to think if I have any straight male friends...they are all joint couple friends. These are ok for flirting once in a while. Or they are not that close friends. So, my pal's name was Leonard. As an adult he changed his name because of all his history. He found somebody whose name he liked in the NYC social register and called the guy up and said, I'd like to add your name to my given name, and he did! Ok, gotta stop, loved the guy and some guilt around the time he died but would've been bigger guilt if the guilt I felt was acted on...does ANY of that make sense?
I'm with Lisa. Not only do gay friends not expect anything (except maybe to borrow your eyeliner), but they will be honest regarding how you look, how men think, etc.
Okay, I'll go to bat for the occassional nice guy. Someone once told me that all relations between men and women are sexual at some level. That may be true, but I for one can flirt and just hang out and have fun and leave it at that. I think a lot of guys can be in that group as long as they accept the relationship they are in. I have a wonderful wife whom I would never think about cheating on (goodness, I get guilty if I have a dream of another woman), and she knows I'll flirt and hang out with other woman but trusts me to behave. If you're in that relationship then you can have friends that are just friends, but like V said, flirt and just let your guard down. Of course that can be confusing to some people (my would be wife when we first met thought V and I were going out (yes, she did V. That made me laugh. It could have been the holding of hands.)) I'll stop rambling now and go back to just watching the posts and enjoying being a voyuer. :>)
And that, my bloggy friends, is my ONE male friend (anon). We'll try not to mock him for reading for over a year without ever commenting, right? ;) He didn't mention that I HAVE known him since highschool...and so the lines are firmly established (and I love his wife!). So, Mr. Anon....do you find its more difficult to make female friends now, even though you are the (possibly the ONLY) motive-less male?
I've thought of the gay friend thing too, but...see...*I* like to be the bitch in the relationship. So, it doesn't usually seem to work out with me and gay guys.
Yes, I can say I have a very flirtatous friendship with a couple fo the women who work here in the plant, one of whom babysits my daughter. I usually find the younger the woman now, the more she thinks I'm coming onto her instead of just having fun. Once I introduce them to my wife and then continue to flirt, that's when they either get wierded out that she will allow it or begin to feel comfortable and just enjoy the friendship as offered.
And yes, I stalked here for over a year without commenting, but you knew I loved you eneough to keep reading. :>P
May I just say that I love how you mix knitting with boys and trusting and not trusting? Lovely.
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