Tuesday, December 19, 2006

My sincere apologies....

To my arse.

I know you did not need this sort of treatment. I know that you had already grown well passed your uh...."potential" and that you did not need further prodding to increase in size.


I know that sugar cookies would've been a better choice as they are not as quick to attack you as the buttery shortbread covered in dark chocolate.

I'm sorry that I blindly ignored the ill effects directed toward you of these festive little nuggets of yumminess. I'm sorry that I was not more attentive to your pleading.

And as if this all wasn't trying enough for you, dear arse, in the end, I was the epitome of cruelty...

and I apologize from the depths of my cookie filled tummy. I know my day of reckoning will soon be upon me as you and my jeans plot to work yourself away in hollow resolutions. Please understand, I am very, very sorry.

But I'm sure a cookie will make me feel better.

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12 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

Laughing my um, arse off! Heh, I can't even eat 99% of the "spare" food that's around right now, so I don't have an excuse for the shocking state of my thighs and arse other than laziness.

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too, too funny! I should probably start extending my apologies to my own arse!

10:43 AM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

But....they taste so good. Excuse me, I need to stare at that last picture for awhile.

11:35 AM  
Blogger meno said...

After reading this, i think i'll have cookies for breakfast.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Mitzi Green said...

oh. my. god.

SEND ME THAT PLATE. STAT.

12:29 PM  
Anonymous heide said...

Wow, that is a LOT of baking and decorating! Thank you for the dolphin knitting input. I've still not cast on for it yet because I'm baking gingerbread people for my eldest daughter's class. Your cookies put mine to shame though, they're beautiful!

2:19 PM  
Anonymous mel said...

Lmao! Very funny post V! :) You know I dont come here daily, but I always laugh when I do! I seem to always hit just the right ones! Maybe it was those fabulous cookies calling my name! :)

4:29 PM  
Anonymous lisa said...

hahahahahaha...did YOU make all of those tidbits? One of those cookies calling my name? No, about 28 of them! The ones with chocolate especially. Oh, don't apologize to your bum. Just hop on that bike (I like the recliner bikes...I can read while I pedal away at the gym...am working up to bringing in my knitting). Or a couple hikes in and out of that quarry pit behind the airport with the doggies. Then, all goodies are fair game! Well, they're fair game anyhow, although I might find myself in my looser jeans for a few days...hmm....

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

mmmmmm... I can feel my arse expanding in sympathy, just by looking at all those delicious cookies.

I've never tried a diet as a New Year's resolution, but I think this year will be a first...

8:22 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

You and Little A must have had so much fun making those!

10:13 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

MMMMM. If only I could reach through the screen and take some of those off your hands for you!

5:07 PM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

Dude. I want one of those little Christmas tree cookies SO FREAKIN' BAD now.

8:40 PM  

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