Monday, May 01, 2006

Guest Blogger!

Today we have a guest blogger! As a part of the May blog exchange, here's Christina from A Mommy Story! I'll be over at her blog today if you want to pop in and say hi!

Mother May I

As a child, and even as a teen, I told my mother close to everything. I could keep no secrets from her. I don’t know if it was due to being just the two of us, or if I had no inner monologue, but I wasn’t someone who could easily keep something from my mother. If I wanted to do something, I was honest with her and asked for permission.

Once when I was a teenager, I was invited to a party after a school basketball game. There would be no adult supervision, and boys would be there. I worried that my mom would not let me go to such a party, so when I called her after the game, I asked if I could go over to a friend’s house to hang out. Just the two of us. It was a complete lie, but my mom bought it and told me to not be out too late.

My friends were in a hurry to get to the party, and I told them I was coming along. But then, right before we left, I detoured back to the pay phones. I couldn’t lie to my mom. I was angry with myself for not being honest with her. So I called her back, saying, “Mom, I’m sorry, but I lied to you. I actually wanted to go to a party.” Amazingly, my mom was very calm about it, and even gave me permission to go. I was floored.

Some of my friends envied the relationship I had (and still have) with my mother. I always felt I could ask her anything. She was the first one I told when I had my first kiss. I confessed to her about becoming sexually active. I drove out to her work so she could be the first to see my acceptance letter to college. She was the first to find out Aaron and I were expecting. I still speak to her almost daily, asking for advice, sharing anything interesting in my life and in general chatting as friends.

I’ve also never hesitated to ask my mom for help. When I was forced to give up telecommuting and go back to work after I had my daughter, I turned to my mom first. She offered to watch my daughter on her day off.

And now that I have a daughter of my own, I wonder if I will have that same type of relationship with her? I hope that she will never feel shy to come to me with any concern she might have. I want her to not feel scared asking me questions that might frighten her. If she wants to go to a party as a teen, I hope she will feel comfortable asking to go, and I hope our relationship will be open enough that I will trust her to be safe at the party. I want to be there for her as much as my mom has been there for me.

About the author: Christina has her own blog at She lives in Columbus, OH with her husband and her 19-month old daughter and works part time as a college student advisor (until she can find enough writing jobs to stay home full-time with her daughter Cordelia).

These posts are part of our May Blog Exchange on the theme Mother May I. Click around to read some of the other posts: Nancy, Vicki, Julie, Chase, Stacy, Christina, Jen, Mabel, TB, Mel, Izzy, Mayberry Mom, Amy, and Laurie. If you’d like to participate in the June Exchange, please email Kristen at kmei26 at Enjoy!


Anonymous Nancy said...

Sounds like you and your mom have a very neat relationship. My best friend from college has that kind of relationship with her mother, and I have always envied it a little bit. I bet you and your daughter will develop the same sort of closeness.

9:02 AM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

I never had that type of relationship with my mother. I think it is wonderful that you have remained so close, and that she was able to set boundaries for you while remaining your confidante.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

My mom and I were just getting there when she got sick. Of all the things I miss, that close relationship and having a built in friend and confidante is probably the greatest loss.
I'm sure if you foster that kind of relationship with your daughter early, you will end up being close.

Also, I know I mentioned this at last month's exchange, but you were out of town I think - I live in Columbus too. Drop me an e-mail and maybe we can get together sometime.

10:37 AM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

Oh, how I envy you! (but I think I've told you that before)You are very blessed and in turn, your daughter is, too, for she has a great mom who had a great mom!

12:44 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

My Mom and I had/have the same kind of relationship. It was great because I always felt I had a foundation. It was awful because I never felt like I'd made her proud ENOUGH. I still don't. I still try. It isn't because of her either. She's as supportive and loving a Mom as you could ever find. It's me... She's the only person I've ever cared enough to impress.

1:22 PM  
Blogger J's Mommy said...

I have the same type of relationship with my mom and I cherish it. I can only hope the same thing happens with my daughter.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous motherhooduncensored said...

I'm envious of your relationship (I guess it's one of many). I treasure what I have with my mom, but somedays I wish it was different...

6:31 PM  

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