Wednesday, April 05, 2006

To the land of Trannies...

This morning N is off to Baltimore, aka the land of Trannies. I have no idea if Baltimore has a disproportionately large amount of transvestites or not, but I've been there twice, and there was no shortage either time. I used this information to caution N. Or at least to keep his dick in his pants. Not that I actually think it will come flying out, but the neurotic little devil that lives in the deep dark pit of my stomach and sends wrinkle rays up to my forehead is quite certain that its a possibility.

Stupid little devil. I seriously detest that part of inability to get a hold of my constant insecurities and paranoia. Because there's evidence for oh so rational brain tells me. I could tell you a story right now that would make you certain that there would be dick lift-off down in Baltimore this weekend. And I could also tell you story that would make you tell that little devil that he is one fucked up piece of work to even suggest such a thing. Ack. I'm sure everything will be fine. (The part of me that says things like 'everything will be fine' told me to tell you all that.)

In other news. I saw a new doctor yesterday....decided I would guinea pig new ones this time instead of throwing Little A to the wolves. He was very nice. And oddly seemed to know a few things. I think he's a keeper, so he'd better not move or die or use whatever new maneuver these slippery doctors may come with.

Speaking of Little A's issue....she's gone dry at night for almost a week straight. I know it might seem a little pathetic to be this excited about urine, but you have NO idea how this thrills me. Every morning I get up and prepare myself for pee-ville...Because if I'm not prepared, I will be a mongo-bitch-momma. And every morning, I'm greeted with DRYNESS. Oh my fucking god. It's the most thrilling thing that's happened to me since the started showing the Facts of Life on demand.

Last night, Little A got ready for bed. First you must know that Little A vacillates between growing up to be a veterinarian (yes, she's already in that stage) and a fashion designer. So, she came out to the living room last night with pink pajamas on that she's starting to bust out of...and purple socks. Pulled all the way up to about mid calf....OVER the pajama bottoms. And that would be our fashion statement of the evening, from our future fashion designer Little A....Erkel Goes to Bed.


Anonymous Latoya said...

I don't know who you're talking about, but that person sounds like a pill. Hey, if they whip it out and get caught with something that will be a great lesson learned, don't you think? Can't protect them from everything.
Hope that you're knitting to take down your worry levels.
Knit on!

10:10 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

You have one of those irrational little voices too? We should get yours and mine together for a play date.

LOVED little A's fashion statement. She's going to be designing those runway outfits for sure. The quirkier the better.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

My twin wet his bed for years - I think until we were at least 9. His body just wouldn't wake up when he needed to go. I know my parents tried everything you can imagine to get him to stop, but I think his body just finally worked itself out one day.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Maybe N will see John Waters.

I have the voice too. But not about my husband - it's about my career/worthiness.

And when Madonna knocks on your door for fashion shoot advice, don't be suprised.

6:39 PM  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

The Facts of Life is on "on demand"? No way! "erkel goes to bed" sounds like a good read, when's it coming out? Yay for dryness.

8:24 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

They show the Facts of Life on demand?! Why don't I know about this? What channel?

Good for Little A. Is it too early to think she's out of the woods with this? I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

11:32 AM  
Blogger V said...

The voice is being squelched pretty fairly regular lovey phone calls. Keep 'em comin' buddy! :)

Yeah...the Fact of's on "Tube Time" under Television or something like that. There's a million episodes. Enough to drive N nuts for the rest of his life....and Different Strokes...and One Day at a Time. These are the ONLY things I need from cable! :)

11:36 AM  
Blogger concha said...

hm, i think we have similar brains.

11:06 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

My life would improve drastically if they showed "The Facts of Life" on demand.

And big ups to Little A, yo.

11:30 PM  
Anonymous roo said...

I'm scratching my head at Latoya's comment..

Anyway, sorry your lovey's out of town, but hooray for clean sheets! Way not to go, Little A!

3:23 AM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I've tried Little A's method of pulling socks over pajama pants. Keeps your ankles from getting cold if the pants push up during the night. You have to remember to untuck them first thing in the morning, though, especially when there's a teenager in the house. Being laughed at before you've had your morning coffee isn't the best way to start the day.

12:22 PM  

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