2nd grade militants

Last night, Little A had an open house thing at her school. They have approximately 143 of these each year and always stealthily combine it with a PTO meeting. After much negotiation with Little A, we decided that we would go, but that we would be late, so that mommy would not have to spend a half an hour trying to control her eyeballs from rolling around in her head from all the self congratulation that goes on at these "meetings". (I'm telling yuh, throw in a red carpet and it would be the god damn Oscars.)

We arrived with perfect timing. The "meeting" had just adjourned and we were able to meld into the throng of parents heading up the stairs to go to the classrooms. Little A was all a flutter and bounced down the hall so quickly that I nearly lost her and almost walked into the kindergarten room (I'm really nominating myself for mom of the year in this one, aren't I?).

We finally reached the 2nd grade room and said a quick hi to Little A's best friend's mom. When I turned around to take in the room, there was the principal, waiting.

As usual she said, "Hi Little A's mom!" It became clear to me around the middle of last year that this woman will never know my name, so I'd just better be thankful that she knows my kid's name and yet is STILL happy (presumably) to see me. "There's a table from the young republicans Girl Scouts in the Cafeteria," she says.

"Oh..." Mustering the best fake smile that I have.

"I'd love to get a group going here at the school, so maybe you can stop down and take a look at it?"

"Uh, yeah. We'll stop by on our way out." Lying to the principal felt vaguely familiar and easy, like an old alternateen flannel. And with that I escaped.

But here, now, I would like to say exactly what I was thinking (what else are blogs for?) before my escape was so well-executed.

Why the fuck would I give a shit that the young republicans Girl Scouts have a god damn table in the cafeteria? WHY? Do you think I really want to spend time and money that I don't have on an organization that wants to teach my kid to be a god damned 50's housewife? Do you think my kid, who already is loaded down with 1-2 hours of homework EVERY night from your god damn school that can't get shit done during the day, needs to be subjected to more senseless meetings? And do you honestly think that I have never heard of the young republicans Girl Scouts and that if I had a true interest in being a part of it, I would've maybe already done so? And do you think that my previous experience with the young republicansGirls Scouts really makes me have a lot of faith in their basic abilities to keep my child safe for like an hour. Do you remember? When Little A went to a young republicans Girl Scouts camp and I later received the registration form back through the P.O., meaning that it was never received and that the young republicansGirl Scout bus was just picking up any old random girl at the bus stop. Does it REALLY seem like I give a shit about the young republicansGirl Scout table in the cafeteria?

I've been a little.....moody.....this week. I actually could care less about the Girl Scouts. The cookies....well yes. Those were clearly sent by Satan. But the Girl Scouts themselves....eh....don't bother me, I won't bother you. And actually if Little A wanted to, I'd let her try it out and pray every night that she saw the light just so it wouldn't become that thing that I wouldn't let her do. I'd rather have her resent me over something a little more meaningful that the young republicans Girl Scouts when the resentment rolls in.