Wednesday, December 07, 2005

T-18 days. Present talk.

Little A and I are going out this afternoon to do a little of her Christmas shopping. She gets no allowance, and I'm not made of money, so we generally hit a dollar store and she picks one thing out for each person. She does good, and it's cute, especially between cousins and friends. Having them exchange gifts that actually picked out for each other usually works out really well.
It's a little trickier for the adults and I usually have to dissuade her from giving grandma a douche (because there's a pretty flower on the front) or grandpa a figurine of Mary and Santa. Last year, N received a Bingo game. He still has it, and probably always will (because he's a gigantic sucker for Little A), still safely in the shrink wrap. N tends to dislike games of all kinds, but she was SURE that it was the best gift for him even though I tried to sell her on a couple of other more disposable types of gifts (who doesn't love a candy bar, anyway? No muss, No fuss.).
So combining Little A's trip with my obsessive resolution to knit all my Christmas gifts this year, I'm guessing that our car load will hold the most "worst gifts" of this year. The sad part is, I like that. It's like payback. "Yes Mom, I crocheted you a Bible Tote because you gave me that red sweatshirt with applique snowmen all over it, even though it was clearly only made to fit Sasquatch." "Yup bro, socks. That's what you get for a tub of popcorn." "Indeed other bro, wonky wallet for a sponge on a stick. You betcha and Merry Christmas."
But really, it's all payback for my mom. My poor mother, who I love dearly and means no harm, is OUT OF HER BLOODY MIND. Year after year, I try to convince her that we should do a swap instead of trying to buy for everyone. It's too much for any of us (except for brother bucks, but even though he has the money for it, he doesn't have the time for the shopping...Hence bucket of popcorn). Too much money, too much time. And usually everyone gets shitty gifts. I tell her every year. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to give just one or two people a REALLY nice gifts instead of a crappy little gift they don't even want??? Noooooooooooooooooo! Never. She's out of her freeking mind and will never relent. And I hear tell that she almost ate my dad alive after he suggested the same thing a mere week after I had badgered her.
So my car load of gifts can be seen in two ways, "Happy Holidays. We love you. Fa la blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." or as payback for motherly obstinance. Simple and pure Christmas revenge.


Anonymous roo said...

You've given me a brilliant idea, V! This year, I'm going to buy my mom some clothes from a store she definitely would NOT frequent. Maybe Urban Outfitters, or Wet Seal. Then I'll make her try them on, and cry and tell her she doesn't love me when she doesn't like them or they don't fit. BRILLIANT!

4:35 PM  
Blogger V said...

Yes, brilliant indeed! There is nothing sweeter than a little Christmas revenge!

7:12 AM  
Blogger V said...

Oh, and I'm thinking something with leather and studs might suite your mom beautifully!

7:12 AM  
Anonymous roo said...


10:47 AM  

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