Monday, July 10, 2006

A rant about the "young" ones. And not very nice.

No, not kids. Not babies.

No, not even that weird old BBC comedy.

I have come here tonight to tell you that people (read: men) who claim to be "young at heart" or "see through the eyes of a twelve year old" (as I heard on NPR today), or feel like they are still teenagers are making someone (read: me) want to shove a toothbrush down their throat and gaggidy gag gag.

First, let me just say, that finding a guy that has the maturity of a twelve year old, even well into his 50's or 60's is really no hard task. You don't even need the dead cat. Swing a tidy little piece of fun fur (because what else would you want to do with it?). So everyman and anyman, please feel free to cease highlighting this characteristic as if its something new and improved.

And worse yet than the salesman play on "look at this great new model man", it seems to be something that men say to attract women.

So, for you perverts that say it to get a girl that is way too young for you, ICK. And, many and most women grow and when she's turned 22 and your 57, she'll realize that you're not a mature, sensitive grown-up whose attention makes her feel mature and grown-up. She'll most likely see the pitiful playboy hoping to constantly relive his glory days as a second string highschool quarterback who played 15 minutes in a whole season. Get over it.

Call me crazy, but I, like most women I know, appreciate growth. I appreciate maturity. I appreciate people who have attained the nearly impossible, death defying feat of talking and communicating about something other than boobs, football, or beer. Or the feat of living inside the human they are, not the human they were 40 some odd years ago. Cumulation of experience is what makes a person. It what's make an average looking person, intensely attractive. It's what makes you worth the trouble.

This "you're only as old as you feel" attitude seems to be yet another notch on the post of obsession with youth. And I'm over it. (Just so you know.) That's right, I'm over youth (except for the smooth skin part. I do appreciate a good skin cream). Kids are beautiful. But I will no longer volunteer myself to date or marry one. Sure, have some vitality, have some energy...great! But PLEASE, for the love of God, have at least of side of substance along with it.

5 Comments:

Anonymous roo said...

Yeah. A little while ago I saw an interview on "The Colbert Report" with the author of this book called "Rejuvenile"-- all about the supposedly new trend of trying to stay child-like (if not childish.)

At the end of the interview, Jeff and I looked at each other.
"Man, was that guy annoying."
"Yeah. And kinda sad."

Let's hear it for maturity!

10:39 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

No fuck, right. If I wanted Peter Pan, There were alot of high school athletes I could have chosen as mates.

11:13 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

But there can be good Young At Heart guys, right? I mean, those that have passed 45 and don't hate "that goddamn devil music kids listen to these days" and wanna golf 24/7 and talk about their investment portfolios.

I guess the kind of Young At Heart I'm thinking of are older men that are and always will be open to exploring new ideas and places and people and such.

But then I've gone and done a hippie PollyAnna on your perfectly good rant on big boys with expensive toys. I hate Jet Skis.

12:16 AM  
Blogger V said...

Yeah but see, to me, being open is a part of being mature. Especially being open with an element of sense. Like a guy who's so open he'll still uh...try herione or something completely retarded like that. No thanks.

I think those guys you're talking about are just the same....yeah, big toys, pretending to be grown up. Being open and being immature are two totally different things to me. Yuh think?

7:02 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

You nailed it, V! Massively annoying, this confusion that "youthful" and "childish" are synonymous.

9:58 PM  

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