Thursday, February 16, 2006

Evil, thy name is New Doctor

And old doctor all at once because I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever go back or bring my child back to that horrid woman ever again.

So....the new doctor wasn't great, did you get that? It's really too bad because I was really looking forward to having a female doctor for both Little A and I. I TRIED to remain positive for as long as possible. I mentally noted how she kind of sounded like Joan Cusack and tried to be humored by her. But there was nothing humorous about the bubbling pit of evil emanating from her soul. I couldn't even sleep last night, hours and hours after the appointment because my blood was still boiling.
Oh where, oh where do I start?
How about from the beginning?

Enraging moment #1:
DR: How old are you?
Little A: (pauses) Seven.
DR: (In the snarkiest voice I've ever heard out of an adult....) Well, that took you a while. (As if to say to my child, "What are you stupid?")
Little A: Well, I was just trying to decided whether to say seven or seven and a half. (giggles...still oblivious to the evil.)
DR: Oh.
This is about the last time that the Dr. Evil addresses Little A even though I keep trying to redirect her to asking Little A questions that she can answer just as well if not better than me. Like "Does her stomach hurt?" Well, she tells me that it doesn't, why don't you ask her??

Enraging moment #2:
DR: So she still uses pull-ups at night?
Me: Yeah. I wet the bed when I was little too, and she sleeps just like me. You could land an airplane next to her head and she wouldn't wake up.
DR: So, is there any embarrassment in that?
Me: What do you mean?
DR: Do you embarrass her about it? You know make her feel ashamed...
Me: Uh....noooooo.
DR: Well, that's your problem.
So I've just told her that she's nearly unconscious when she sleeps, that its hereditary and yet STILL she believes that the only acceptable course of action is to (and of course implying every moment that I'm a horrible parent because I don't) SHAME my child about pull-ups. I guess if she had stayed on WebMD a little longer she might have read: If bed-wetting is related to emotional stress, the child will usually regain bladder control when the stress is relieved or dealt with. Older children who wet the bed, especially girls, are more likely to show signs of emotional stress and to be more difficult to treat. Great so Dr. Evil's idea is to turn a probable physical problem into an emotional one and tell me that I'm a bad, bad mother because I don't treat my kid like crap.

Enraging moment #3:
DR: She's seven, she really shouldn't be wetting the bed. You should've brought her in long before this.
ME: Well, I bring her in every year for her physical and I've always told the doctor about it and he's always said to not worry too much, some kids just take longer....
DR: Yeah, well, whatever.

Enraging moment #4:
DR: (To Little A about the poo accidents over the past few days) You shouldn't poop in your pants, do you know why?
Little A: Looking at her like she's starting to get that she's devil spawn.
DR: Because then you stink. You smell.
Okaaaay. You're a FUCKING DOCTOR BITCH. You don't think you could've give her some reasons about being clean and healthy???

We were like 20 minutes into the appointment before we even got the the poo-reason we were there. For a minute I tried to be happy that I was getting so much doctor face time, then I realized it must be because she has no other patients. There are SO many enraging moments, I just can't possibly write them all, but you're all getting the gist, eh?

All of this was nicely accompanied by the fact that she didn't know ANYTHING. She kept running to her computer to look up things (like what...on WebMD incompetent bitch?). I had to repeat everything I told her or asked her about TEN times each just to get a response, and very often her very professional response was "Whatever". Yes, when I told her that the poo issue had been getting better over the past two days with the help of pounds of vegetables and prune juice, she says, "whatever" and goes about her business of setting up appointments with this specialist or that specialist. NEVER once did she recognize or consider that this all might be due to a little stomach bug going around the school. Not even once. And I had to tell her/ask her many many times about the potential of Little A having a reaction to drinking cow's milk. Several of those times were also countered with "Whatever". There may be more I need to rage about, but the blood in my veins is circling my body so quickly, I feel like I may just be about to burst out of my shirt into a lovely vengeful green and go kick some Dr. Evil Ass.

So today, I'm getting another new doctor. Fun for all.


Anonymous Nancy said...

OMG -- how infuriating! She sounds like a true evil bitch. I am amazed doctors like that actually made it through medical school. They should honestly get graded on their bedside manner. Not that it sounds like she would have even passed her medical skills stuff given that she kept checking the computer.... grrrr.

9:22 AM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

Finding a good doctor is really hard. My daughter's pediatrician operates out of a pretty run-down looking converted house, and occasionally I have spent in excess of two hours waiting (no, I'm not exaggerating, but he's been much better about that lately), but he's such a great doctor I feel privlaged to have him. The reason the wait is so long because he takes his time with each patient...I've never felt rushed. He's definately a vanishing breed! And he had ten children of his own, so he definately knows what he's doing!

9:24 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I am stunned, and shocked. Literally - my mouth is open. How you didn't punch her in the face, I'll never know.

Can you write a letter to whomever employs her?

10:13 AM  
Blogger V said...

She's just a partner in a practice. I've been searching all morning to find a formal way to complain about her, but she's not registered with the AMA or Legacy Health or anything like that. I've found info on her, but nothing that has an input form.

The only thing that saved her from a broken nose was pure and utter shock. Shock.

I talked to Little A and she seemed she hadn't been paying attention to a lot of it, but you never know with kids. I hope she'll tell me if she's upset.

GG-Yeah, you aer SO lucky. When Little A was born, we had a WONDERFUL doctor...same thing...he would spend so much time with you (we always had to wait forever!) and he was an MD and a homeopathic doctor so he was a really good balance. But, he died. (I know that doesn't sound like a good endorsement, but sometimes cancer is cancer, yuh know.) It was awful and I miss him everytime we go to the doctor. :(

10:24 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

No, no this isn't OK. You really need to report this witch. How awful! I'm so sorry you even had to go through that.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

That is truly unbelievable. Wow.

5:11 PM  
Anonymous roo said...

She told little A that she smells????

I may have to punch that incompetent bitch in the face myself!

11:31 PM  
Blogger V said...

Whose got the torches? And the farm implements? I'm ready! Let's GO!

6:58 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

I read this with my hand clasped over my mouth. I am SHOCKED and DISGUSTED by the way she treated your daughter and her suggestions. SHAMING her? My god. If writing a letter to her or her practise isn't really something that you think would raise eyebrows then I'd seriously consider a letter to the editor of your local paper.

I'm so, so sorry you both had to go through that. I'm even sorrier she's in practise.

3:19 PM  
Anonymous jen said...

what the fuck? blood in boiling just reading this. reminds me of the joke, "what do they call the medical student who graduated last in their class?" "Doctor."

"whatever"? are you kidding me? I'm with mama T on this one. letter to someone is in order. lay it all out there.

I know quite a few drs in the area (3 on my soccer team) and my sister is a nurse at the MICU at Mass General. If you need any help looking for a better doc, I'm sure I could get some recocmmendations for ya. If you need one, let me know.

8:00 PM  

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